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Last wednesday I found out that NYLABLUE and her mom like Sherlock Holmes stories as much as me.
I told her, that I’m a detectiv like Mr. Holmes too and believe it or not, today we had the first crime:
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It was in a dark stormy night…
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WHAT? Liar? ok, ok  it was 1pm  but the first is better for a crime story, so it was in such a night or day or whatever as a client named mom called me, because she discovered a body. I grabbed my deputy Dr. Ratson, my pipe, my cap and my magnifier and went to the crime scene to visit the victim.
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BWWWARRRKS!! A floater! Oh no – not that!
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I’ve started an autopsy… no, I didn’t because it was disgusting and there was water in play so I decided a visual inspection from a distance  is more than enough.
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Ok, here we go:
Mouse in bath bad condition, adipose, probably gadabout and drinker, because it was found in a water bucket.
You got it Dr. Ratson?
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Now I sniffed around on the crime scene.
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Ha! What I found! A chocolate bunny… chewed… where is my magnifier, Ratson? Aaaaah… I see the dental impressions, you bet! A mouse!
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Now I took up the trail… it leads me directly in my back yard… Ha! could this be the murder weapon?… hmmm… no, probably not unless some one used the stick to toss the mouse in the bucket … sounds idiotic, but I need a reason to chew on this yummy stick for a while…
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Then I sniffed around for….
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UUUH! Sorry … Time for a short commercial… I’m back in a minute… This darned pipe has a sweeping effect…
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Hey nutball hang the banner higher, ok better… UH! Great… a commercial for toilet paper with a hole in the middle… I hate commercial breaks!
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Butt back to the story now…
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In the backyard I saw a clochard named dad mooches around and he smelled totally suspect to me. I stormed to this guy…
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Hey! Stupid there on the camera! That’s the wrong direction!
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Ok, I stormed without picture to this bozo to examine him immediately. My interrogation technique is world celebrated, even the CIA , the KGB and the TSI-YAY-EH (that’s the chinese secret service) envy me for my subtile and smart style to crack even the stubbornest yardbirds. I always beat about the bush without giving hints till they are caught in their own trap. So I bellowed
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MURDER!!!!!!
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straight in his face.
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Bawhahahaha! Wow,  how scared he was! What a chicken!… and we talk later about the problem who has a screw loose, right,  Dad?
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Either the suspect was a stayer or he was deaf from my braying so he refused to make a testimony except about lost screws (probably a formerly locksmith before he made career as a tramp…) but I give a monkeys fart on it, because he will join up anyway in the bucket, in case of libelling an official.
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I think I’ve heard enough for today and I’m in the shot now. Ratson!!! Let’s write the report!
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…ahhhmmm… what are you doing?…AWWW Tetris! Wait! I’m an expert! Take the left one , no better   the right, hurry! … uuuuh tooooo late! game over… and why  my fault?! We are here for solving a capital offense and not for playing stupid monkey games!
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Ok write now: The victim named Mouse comitted suicide after mangling a chocolate rabbit, called Easter Bunny.
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I deduce: if a mouse ate a piece of a chocolate bunny, what’s more than two times bigger than itself, then the result is: U-NO-POO that must be the sensation of constipation, maybe mice should smoke pipes after killing a chocolate bunny …
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Ok, I deduce in addition:
The mouse commited a capital crime for mangling the chocolate bunny and carried out the death penalty on itself. That’s vigilante justice – the worst case of DIY-projects and with that to punish.
The mouse should be arrested immediately. The poor chocolate bunny goes to Mr. Sherlock Weim for accomplish nursing him back to health. …Oh WHAT? The witness named mom threw him in the trashcan?! That’s an abolition of evidence…AND animaldumping! She has to land in Jail! 
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The hobo named dad gets arrested as well for defiance of authority  immediately.
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…Ratson? Where is the mouse? Buried? … and where?
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Oh you marked the place with a yellow flower? 
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 Are you kidding  me?! Do you have cotton in your head or what? … Oh you have… SOOOORRY…
Well, Ratson, we use the round file for the report, name it a cold case and write a telegram:
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HAVE A FUNNY WEEKEND ALL

About easyweimaraner

Weimaraner /Braque de Weimar, born in 2009, male & fabulous From: Britanny / France Likes: Plushtoy-Shredding, Spikebones,long distance Walks, everyday a Gift, Chicken, Shoes, Underwear, my squeekie Pig & my whole Life Dislikes: Water, Cats, Beaf, Cats, cleaning my Ears, Cats, the Vet, Cats, Snow & CATS! Profession: Student of psychological War-technics & Terrorism, after my Masterdegree i become to rule the world or maybe to be the owner of toys r us. actually i'm not sure... Status: Single Pets: Hell, NO! i prefer a petfree home. but owner of two slaves for my comfy Misc.: Greencardowner for Masterbed, Master of Beggin, Prince of Thiefs We decided to leave Easy's datas as they were... although we lost him in november 2016, he is still with us.... and his little brothers Phenny and Nelly promised to write on not as Easy the weim, but as easy Weimaraner... About us: Mr. Phoenix, born 9/9/2016 a virgo and always clever&smart...Neilson, born 7/28/2017 a leo who thinks he is clever&smart...

74 responses »

  1. Woof! Woof! Oh Easy. Have an enjoyable always FUNNY Friday Weekend. Lots of Golden Woofs, Sugar

  2. ROFLMAO..Easy you are too funny.. I had a hamster that got constipation, too much carrot he ate..He died.. Have a wonderful Furiday xx00xx

    Mollie and Alfie

    • I feel sorry for Mr. Hamster…. most this small pets have no chance, when they are sick. but this mouse in da house was really annoying…. Have a wonderful friday too and be careful with carrots …

  3. Ann Staub says:

    Hahaha too funny Easy! Maybe you need to come over to my crib to investigate who’s been snacking on Shiner’s food. I am quite suspicious of a mouse!

  4. Goose says:

    Detective Easy of your talents there is no end.I bet the mouse decided when he heard that you would be on the case of who nibbled on the chocolate Easter Bunny he just decided to end it all because he would be found out by the greatest Wiem Detective in all the land. So he put water in the bucket, and maybe a little booze, and then dove in and deaded himself.
    Blessings,
    Goose

    • Oh that could be… or maybe the mouse knews about my wather phobia and tried to escape via ocean route?
      But the zenith of the drama was mom: she threw the bunny in the trashcan…. I’m barkless…

  5. BOL – you are the funniest detective ever Easy! What a suspense. What a thrilling night (sorry, day, sorry time). We’ll be sure to notify you of any crimes in our area. We need you!

  6. Frankie Furter and Ernie says:

    OMD OMD Detective EASY… you are totally CRACKING US UP with this Report. Love Ratson and OMD the ENTIRE thingy is just hysterical. THANK YOU BUDDY!!! BRAVO the world is now Free of one more Tree Rat Cussin AKA DA MOUSE!!! THEY are as Evil as tree rats you know.

    • I’m glad too, this mice are very naughty….but I feel sorry for the chocolate bunny, think he deserved a better place than the trashcan (my stomach as example)…

  7. Frankie Furter and Ernie says:

    PeeS…. we even LOVED the Commercial Break !!!

  8. owyheestar says:

    Whew what a hurrah. We found a drowned mouse in a bucket not long ago. Cliff says he sees them frequently, which begs the question as to what the cat was doing when these incidents happened. Goodness…………what a great tale of two tails, one ended up better than the another –who was found demised in a bucket.

  9. Kyla says:

    You never considered that the chocolate was laced with poison?

  10. Can’t wait until the movie comes out? Who will play you?

    janet

    • Probably Goose, I think he is perfect… but I have no idea who can play Dr. Ratson… and oh we have a problem with the role of the mouse… no one want’s to play a floater:o)

  11. finnhoward says:

    Starting a funny weekend after giving this a good read! BOL Easy buddy! PS – love your commercial too!

  12. Will and Eko says:

    There is no case too big (or too smelly) for Detective Easy!

  13. love the commercial xxx happy friday sir Easy 🙂

  14. BOL funny Easy. We needed a laugh today. Wow sure serves the mouse right. Snacking on the bunny is a crime. I can come over and we can catch mice together.
    Detective Easy you are the best. Have a fabulous Friday.
    Best wishes Molly

    • yo! come over, I’ll bet there are more mice and I hope more chocolate bunnies :o) Maybe even the toad from last year is back and we can turn into a foam extinguisher :O)

  15. Misaki says:

    Hahaha Easy! You are quite the detective. Hope you got paid in lobsters for all your hard work

  16. Sherlock Weim
    Give him time
    He can solve most any crime!

    What an exciting mystery you and your sidekick Dr. Ratson solved – and right there in your very own house and yard too! I believe you arrived at the solving of the mystery in the most logical and Sherlockian of ways too….looked at all the possibilities and suspects, and evidence and VOILA – solved your first case just like that. You had me and Mom giggling though – not that we don’t take crime seriously, but NOBODY could have solved it in a more CREATIVE fashion than you. Well done…..Loved the commercial too……can we all assume that your staff is providing a well cooked and sizeable lobster as a reward for solving “Murder In My Crib” ????

    Kitty Hugs of Admiration, Sammy

    • That’s a brilliant poem… I will use it for my own commercial (when I became famous enough) :o)
      Sadly I have to wait for the lobsters, because the staff is currently in a crib of correction to serve their time. Maybe Judge Kimmel can give them parole for the weekend?

  17. Great story. Great handlebar mustache. Great geehosophers – – – that was funny. Thanks, I needed that.

  18. Your house is always so much fun, E. A suicide mouse just makes it more so. Did he taste good?

    Love and licks,
    Cupcake

    • hahaha sadly Dr. Ratson buried him under a yellow flower, between a bazillion of yellow flowers. But I’m sure I will find him and then I can write a “tasty-tuesday” review :o)

  19. Brian says:

    Such a thriller Easy!!! I hope you can now relax for the weekend!

  20. Gizmo says:

    Oh Easy, first I had to look up “clochard” for Momz: A french male homeless person living in the streets, only taking care to get enough money for food & vast quantities of cheap wine from begging & panhandling. …Then I had to wait till she stopped laughing and got up off the floor where she had collapsed helplessly…I think she doesn’t understand the seriousness of the crime and the excellence of your investigation…maybe she needs to be charged with “Dereliction of Duty/Failure to Provide Treats” Have a wonderful funny weekend my pal

  21. What a thrilling detective story Easy, you are the dog!

  22. Great detective tale, Easy. We truly enjoyed the commercial break too:)

    Woos – Phantom, Thunder, Ciara, and Lightning

  23. Zena says:

    Well I now know who to call if I find a dead mouse……… maybe!

  24. tylersat99 says:

    Easy you really have a great imagination, we would have just thought he claimed in to get a drink and drowned. You should write true (sort of) crime 🙂

  25. sheltiebeauties says:

    Oh dear, you just made my life a bit light and easy for today as my sister Rosie just left in the morning as she has to go back to SCHOOL. Thanks for the laugh! We need it, seriously!

    ~Eva

  26. dogdaz says:

    Easy, that was a fantastic piece of detective work and a great yarn. I loved it! I do love Sherlock too and we think you and Ratson did a super job of keeping us engaged. We are looking forward to your e-book. You are going to publish right? Keep up the good work – DogDaz zoo

    • Thanks :o) I like this stories very much, specially the smart conclusions which Mr. Holmes learnt from me :o) But I’m afraid I can’t write a book, the mouse had a lot of relatives and they wan’t emoluments :o)

  27. Chancy and Mumsy says:

    For sure you have started our weekend off with a terrific laugh. You are the best detective ever sweet Easy. Happy fun weekend to you! Hugs and nose kisses

  28. kolytyi says:

    Easy, your interrogative technique is fearful(ly hilarious)! I’m sure that I couldn’t stand it (without laughter)! I am much relieved to hear that you took the murder case in paw. Imagine a DIY-project called Mom-Miss-Marple or Dad-Mr-Poirot!

  29. rebecca2000 says:

    LOL Love it! You’re so creative.

  30. Nylabluesmum says:

    MOL!! Cheer out loud!!!! By Jove Easy we finkz ya cracked it!!!! Diz story iz pawsitively purrfect nin ebery way!!! Mum remarked how guud you look wif da Meerscham pipe n she sayz you haz purrfect attenshun to detail!!! Yer story was so clever n funny…..we iz both in stitchez here!!! AS fer Dr. Ratson…we finkz ya might have to replace him….We suggest Edward Hardwicke…check him out on Google 😉
    We wunderz about da suspects aka Mum n Dad…dey iz hidin sumfing!!! Be wery alert to dem once dey are out1!!!
    Keep up da pawsum werk Easy er me meanz Sherlock Weim!!!!!!
    *paw patz* frum Nylablue } frum Sherri-Ellen (who iz utterly deelighted you wrote a Sherlock story!!)

    • Oh sadly Mr. Edward H. passed away in 2011… think now I can’t fire the rat with the cotton-head :o)

      • Nylabluesmum says:

        Mum just looked diz up n you iz right…May 16th, 2011….we did not know!! We iz bery sowwy to read diz az Mr. H. waz our fave Dr. Watson….he is now with Jeremy Brett who we LUBBED az Sherlock Holmez!!!! Dey can do detectin in Heaven now 😉
        We needz a new Dr. Ratson….hhhmmmmm…..
        Lub Nylablue xo

      • should I ask Jude Law? …hmmm probably not…I’m sure we will find a perfect dogtor watson :o)

      • Nylabluesmum says:

        Yow Easy we cuud ask Benedict Cumberbatch who playz Sherlock Holmes n martin freeman who iz da new Dr. Watson….maybee dey help ya???
        We can not afford Jude Law….MOL/BOL!!!!
        Lub ya Easy….

  31. Nylabluesmum says:

    Oh n we howled wif hilaritee over da commercial ad…yer face stuck in da bear’s butt…DAT waz BERY BERY funny!!!! *wipez tearz frum eyez* Lub Nylablue n Mum….she iz still wipin tearz away..she sayz she iz cryin wif laffter!!!!!

  32. LifeOfBun says:

    Damn those commercials always!! Nice sniffing out the accomplices, easy. Their eyes said it all!

  33. You don’t half hang out with some dodgy characters Easy. I’d lock them all up and throw away the key 😀

  34. How funny – thanks for making me laugh!

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