SATIRE SATURDAY
.
This is a post about an always misinterpreted girl and a malignant teacher.
.
Once upon time there was a little girl named Mom, who had to go to school like most kids at her age.
Unfortunately this school had a subject named forced labor handicrafts. There the kids had to cobble useless things like bird houses, candleholders, coasters and other stuff.
The teacher was Mr. Fox a direct import of the deepest hell and he hated the girl named Mom.
The girl named mom worked her ass off to throw something together and with blood sweat and a will of iron, she finished such a thingummyjig. This one:
.
.
Hallelujah!
.
.
Sadly Mr. Fox rejoiced not really as he saw Mom’s art piece, he gave her a big fat F in italy they call it estremamente scarso… As if that weren’t enough he wrote a diatribe:
Within 6 month your daughter wasn’t able to produce only one usable work piece. Signature of legal guardians is required.
The girl named mom went home with her F-graded thingy and gave it her parents. They read the Fox- message and roared with laughter. Her dad asked her: what’s wrong with that funny orange thingy….ahmmm.. what is it?
It’s a coaster for a teapot answered the Mom and that’s my gift for you.
Her parents were delighted about that wonderful gift and so they signed the papershred with 3 crosses their names and wrote back: SO WHAT!
That was the go-ahead of an endless battle between the girl named Mom and the Fox-guy. He acted as sneaky as his name promised and he always dissed the girl named Mom and tortured that poor girl whenever he saw her. The last stand FOX vs.MOM took place as this guy insulted her with words what we will never forget:
If you were as long as you are stupid you could shave the chin of the moon without stretching your arms!
WHAM!
That was in strongest terms too much and the girl named Mom started the counter offensive:
And if you were as long as you are stupid you had to bend forward yourself to spit the moon on the head!
BAM!
Her classmates gave her standing ovations and cheered her frenetically and she even got an audience at popie the principal. Sadly this guy was a tard too and he wrote a blue letter to her parents, where he skewed the facts badly, because he also had a prejudice against the girl named Mom.
This time her parents sent the Mom to bed first before they laughed and they decided to clear the air by excusing Mom’s non-attendance at school every wednesday when they had handicraft-lessons for the rest of the year. The coaster-thingy is still in the family although you can’t use it for a teapot or a cooking pot, because it’s crooking and humped and wobbly. Butt funny orange!
.
BUTT:
.
.
.
87 years later the girl named mom was very well able to produce a work piece and not within 6 months, she only need 6 days (or some more)!
.
.
.
Look at this wonderful paper mache dog she made for me with her own paws! It’s a
HOWL-O-WHEEMERANER!
.
.
She also made two tombstones, what aren’t finished by now, because we ran out of varnish (that’s not her fault, because my dad varnished his pants instead the work pieces)
.
.
That’s the girl who can shave the chin of the moon without stretching her arms!
.
.
.
The girl who spent hours to remove the color I got accidentally on my fur mix up an original Weim-color!
.
.
Take that Mr. Fox!
A BIG FAT F TO YOU, MR. FOX & A BIG FAT THANK YOU TO NIKITAS MOM FOR THE HELP!
HAVE A SUPER SATURDAY ALL!
I
Easy Blog 
🙂 Hope you’re having a super, craft-free Saturday.
janet
I hope so – I’m dogtired now :o)
If you ask me that girl named mom is a wonderful artist. I give her an “F” too, “F” for fantastic!! There are not many artist who can capture such a work of art in real life such as a beautiful Wiem!! You give that girl named mom a big old kiss from me.
Blessings,
Goose
Wow! Thanks, that’s nice! I gave her a big fat kiss and the Howl-o-wheemeraner too!
Eat it, Fox!! YAY, Mom! We recognized Nikitaland in that BREATHTAKING creation. Just be careful, E. If your mom starts making those scary pumpkins and mummies, hide behind the big chair. That’s what I’d do.
Love and licks,
Cupcake
My mom has a lot of plans what deserve a hideout behind the big chair :o) I love Nikitas blog, that’s the funniest Howl-o-ween place ever!
A big fat F for Mr Fox – this sure is proof that Mom is as talented as the teacher is good 😀
hahahaha ;o) I wish he could read this post (he is still alive)!
Oh Easy Mr Fox is a loser…I mean mums Halloween creation is fab! Dare I say Mr Fox has obviously never been into a Trashure shop…or our local U-cram-it-in shop…(which had an unfortunate card rack display incident which I was on the scene and helping…hilarious beyond belief!) these shops can only dream of such craft class as what your mum produced!! I think Mr Fox is probably now needing one of mums headstones ….better get the lead out mum! have a great weekend you crafty thing you hugs Fozziemum xx
This Mr. Fox really was a nightmare (reincarnation of Mr. Flagg) – fortunately mom’s parents preferred anti-authoritarian education – otherwise she would be bushed :o)
WTG girl named mom! We love the Paper mâché Easy! You out foxed Mr Fox
Hugs Madi your BFFF and mom
Yes Madi – that’s the right word the outfoxed Fox YAY!
OMD we are howling with laughter. We too had a Mr.Nasty. On a Wednesday we had just one lecture at University so we never bothered showing up as it was boring ecology. When one day we had to go on a filed course the lecturer spotted that we never went to any of his boring lectures. He made it his mission to make our lives hell and we reciprocated. Have a super Saturday.
Best wishes Molly
That was the brother of Mr. Fox – I’m sure. I’m glad&proud you were ready for rumble too!
We love the HOWL-O-WHEEMERANER!
Our Mom had a teacher like Mr. Fox, alas she was Ms. Chancey and she taught 4th grade for the entire day all week. The Mom was most miserable until one day her piano teacher walked in when Ms Chancey was calling Mommy stupid and retarded. The piano teacher took Mom away from Ms. Chancey and she never had to go back to her class without another adult present. Mommy was a tinny bit pleased when the piano teacher told Ms. Chancey off and she was most happy she never had to endure Ms Chancey’s abuse again.
Yay for your mom’s piano teacher! Such Mr. Foxes and Ms. Chanceys can be the nightmare of your childhood, I bet they confused teaching with torment.
If I were you I would take that BEAUTIFUL PIECE (that Is incredible) and bash it over Mr.Fox’s head! I could never have made something like Easy and look at his shoes!!! LOVE IT! I had an Art teacher like that (I was going to major in Art in college but changed my mind)….I had all A’s and he gave me a C on a painting….I went into his office and broke it in two pieces and gave it back.
KUDOS TO YOU!
That was absolutely logical! Yay for your mom, Dakota! I’m not sure if the Howl-o-wheemeraner is strong enough for this revenge campain, Mom said that Mr. Fox is a blockhead :o)
This is incredibly HILARIOUS!!! Your mom is a misunderstood genius! Her HOWL-O-WHEEMERANER should be exhibited at the MOMA (http://www.moma.org/collection/browse_results.php?criteria=O%3ADE%3AI%3A5|G%3AHI%3AE%3A1&page_number=1&template_id=6&sort_order=2).
My most important and useful work at handicrafts at the age of 12 was vice jaw covers. For a girl it is just essential knowledge!!!
I’m sure your teacher was a brother of Mr. Fox too. But at last, vice jar covers are better than the funny orange coaster :o)
We are so proud of how your doggie turned out! You did a fantastic job on it and I love the shoes! We were so glad to be able to help you along on your project, but you did an outstanding job and turned out a remarkable dog! I can’t wait to see what you try to make next! Over here at Nikitaland, we are on our 6th paper mache pumpkin and going strong! Isn’t Halloween so much fun!
It is! The best event ever. We will start our x-mas project soon. Thanks a lot for all the tips&tricks, I’m sure that wasn’t our last paper mache project. T*H*A*N*K*S
You’re welcome! If you are intereste
You’re welcome! If you are interested in finding out how I made a paper mache Snowman, do a search on it on my blog to see how I made mine last year! It was really easy!
He says that He had a similar problem. The teacher wasn’t an AH like Fox, however. He couldn’t plane a board and get a straight edge. He went through a few pieces of wood. At least twice a class (45 min long), the teacher would be summoned to check it-always not straight. The teacher finally took the plane and did it in five seconds. The worst part was that it was now time to do the other side of the board.
hahaha, that were lessons we never will forget :o) Why the teacher ordered the kids to do it, if he can do it in five seconds? :o)
Well Easy, that Mr. Fox guy was an idiot and simply didn’t know true art when he saw it! In fact no doubt many other “Moms” passed through his classes over the years and got the same NON-ENCOURAGEMENT your Mom did. Not fair but she still has that teapot coaster to remind her that some old Fox dude didn’t recognize a Picasso-Mom when he saw one. He could have been her art agent and made a fortune – proof pawsitive is that incredible Howl-O-Wheemaraner (or SCREAMaraner) with those adorable shoes! Bravo to your Mom.
Kitty Hugs, Sammy
Thanks Sammy! That cheered her up! The Fox-guy sure was an ignoramus – he had no sense for orange and the avant-garde kind of painting :o) The principal was the same muppet, no sense for humor and extragalactic astronomy :o)
You had me falling out of the chair laughing, Easy. Mr. Fox just didn’t know true talent.
That’s for sure, maybe mom confused his name, think he was more a Mr. Mole :o)
Oh wow! The Howl-O-Wheemeraner is super cool! We give the girl name Mom a A+!!
Thanks, Texas. That’s pretty cool! Wish Mr. Fox could see this hehehehe
Funny funny funny!!!!!!!!! LOL
Thanks :o)
I think a big fat Raspberry is needed for Mr Fox,the gril named mum is fab,xx SPeedy
Thanks Speedy – but we should pick a rotten raspberry for that guy!
wow, what a stunning friend… can we have one to?
hahahaha…. better you visit me and we make one together…maybe a Hello-Newfieraner?
Would be awesome! So what’s the address??? 😉
you only need to cross the channel :o)
Getting the boat ready now 🙂
OK I will try this again because last time it didn’t like me enough to let me post. 😦
I also had a teacher from the Neverlands where Mr. Fox was conceived. She was my teacher for all but two periods a day (in middle school–called junior high when I was there in the dark ages). I had her for English, Social Studies, History, and Art…..we might have had one other subject. I know I did not have her for PE–it was my favorite subject. Guess why??
This teacher told me that she didn’t like my voice. She could not tolerate my voice. My art was substandard. and she showed her favorite boy’s work. She put marks on the board, and in turn I got hacked after class for the perceived disobedience. It was terrible because living in the dark ages if I would have told my parents, then I would have gotten hacks at home. So, I kept this secret, and I endured the hell of this year.
I am sure Mr. Fox and Miss Hartshorn are sharing the same crib. I sincerely hope they like each other’s company.
Now, finally…………this is my favorite post for another reason besides Mom and I share crazy hellish teacher stories. I love that creation. I want one. LOL …………it is great. Thank you for sharing that because it is fabulous!
I bet they were related or at least siblings in spirit. What a mean ole bat! It’s so mean when you are a child and you have to bear this animosities. And all because he/she is the teacher and can do what he/she want.
Loved this story that could have had a very different ending. Luckily mom’s parents did the right thing. There are millions of kids who feel they have no gift for art, writing, singing etc. because of a judgmental teacher. Btw, I knew right away it was a trivet 🙂
I’m glad her parents had a sense for humor and found the right way for “troubleshooting”. It’s not easy for kids when they have teachers like Mr. Fox
WE think your mom DESERVES an A+ fur that WONDERFUL piece of Artwork that is all finished and fur the tombstones that soon Will be, also.
She surely showed THAT guy… we think that Mr. FOX was just a SQUIRREL in Fox Furring.
BRAVO to the Girrrrrrl named MOM fur an OUTSTANDING Job and fur STANDING UP fur Herself against that SQUIRREL GUY!!! BRAVO We SAY!!!!
Oh maybe that’s the reason! She only had to bark and the fox/squirrel-guy would disappear on a tree! But I’m not sure if he was that. Mom says he had no long fluffy tail :o)
You go girl. To bad Mr Fox was an unhappy soul
Benny & Lily
I’m sure he was, Benny&Lily. He was just jealous because my mom made such a funny orange thingy!
How mean! I think the pot holder is kind of creative. I don’t think I would have thought to make something like that. Oh well. Easy’s new friend looks pretty good. I think if I tried something like that, it wouldn’t come out too good!
Yes the pot thingy is …special. But funny orange .o) Papewr mache is a very cool stuff, it’s easy to work with it, even for my mom :o)
HEY EASY…… Maybe that Fox guy WAS the………………
One Eyed, One Horned
Flying Purple Peeeeeeple Eater !!!
That could be too, because he ate other peeeple too and gave them bad grades. :o)
Well, sweet Easy we give Mom a great big A+ and that Fox guy a big fat F. You all have a super weekend. Hugs and nose kisses
Thanks Chancy&Mumsy – I think it’s a very cool Howl-o-weemeraner, that Mr. Fox would be green with envy!
Wow, that teacher was a seriously meanie boombaleenie! BOL I hope the other kids toilet-papered his house or something…he was rotten. Anyway, great artwork this time and I give your Mom an A too!
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, COP
hahaha that would be great! hope they used used tp-rolls hahahaha
Yay for the mom, it took me forever to make an ashtray for my own mom in ceramics..what’s that thing? the teacher asked..tard teacher, it’s an ashtray for smelly things….by the way, love the banner..keep toking Easy…
Maybe you had it to show him with a cigarette :o) hahaha
Sometimes teachers miss brilliance because they are trying to squish someone into a particular shape. The HOWL-O-WHEEMERANER! is a fantastic and wonderful work of art. I have been an artist and teacher long enough to qualify as a judge and I give it A+. It also made me smile and feel happy. I
Thanks! You are an expert, so I think the big fat F of Mr. Fox is history now :o)
Oh Easy, you had me giggling so hard I coughed up my kibble!
Oh that’s bad, Brian. I hope the kibble was re-usable?
We love your mom’s creation and can’t wait to see the rest of them completed.
Millie & Walter
Thanks :o) I hope we can finish the two pieces soon and then we are ready to start our new project: a funny orange coaster-thingy…LOL
Easy! your Mom is PAWSOME!!! Fox should be whipped and tarred and feathered and run out of town on a rail! He just had the WRONG crafts for your Mommy!
Kisses
Nellie
That’s the best idea, Nellie! I will collect some feather from my chicken, just in case I will meet Mr. Fox :o)
That Mr Fox should be ashamed of himself! That Wheemeraner is brilliant.
Thanks :o) I think Mr. Fox confused teacher with torturer, what an ole grumpy guy! Fortunately mom’s parents had a sense for humor and funny orange thingies :o)
Easy – I absolutely love the paper mache of you. Your Mom is fantastic. If people were taught with more laughter and encouragement the world would be so much better. I have many a thingy in a box somewhere, because creativity, no matter how bumpy, is more important than a level sitting tea cup. – DogDaz
To be creativ is cool. When you start a project you will never know what you get when you finished it :o) (in worst case a funny orange thingy like Mom’s F-coaster)
I must have had Mr Fox’s brother at a teacher at some point, except he didn’t write notes to parents, he was slapping the kids. I wish I were able to stand up for myself like your Mom did. Your Mom is awesome:)
I’m afraid guys like Mr. Fox have 87 siblings – or more. Some people confuse Teacher with tortureer, I think :o)
Oh my haha i’d never even get that to stand up straight. I’m not that crafty at all >_< nice job. Maybe you can also make one for Halloween with scary lights in it hahaha.
I’m not sure if we should try DIY-projects with fire or electricity LOL
hello easy its dennis the vizsla dog hay i hav herd of the fantastik mister foks but i gess that must be a diffrent mister foks frum this wun!!! hay yore noo frend the papier mache weimaraner luks a littel bit krazy i wood keep an eye on him if i wer yoo!!! ok bye
The “Paperaner” is locked in the guest room – that’s better, specially at night :o)
Well, I thinks Mr. Fox is an idiot. So does Ma. She thinks your Moms is BRILLIANT!!
Just lookie at that mache ‘Easy’!!! FABulous!! And, he’s even ‘rubbing off’ on you!!! BOL!!!! hehehe
Kisses,
Ruby ♥☺
That’s what mom’s parents said too :o) I like my paper-me – but I better locked it in the guestroom. I saw the teeth :o)
Can the Mom do one of me Bawahwhahhwa we think it is fabulous A* and a big raspberry in Mr Fox’s face..BOL xxooxx
Mollie and Alfie
but a rotten or one with worms! That would be a cool blogville challenge: make your own paper mache-me :o)
We are reading this a couple of days late but we are very glad to have read that on a Monday morning!!
Thanks Cocco – hope your monday started without a guy like Mr. Fox :o)
That is so cool! You got a mini-me. I think the girl called Mom did a fantastic job. My mom can’t type and chew bubble gum at the same time – snorts. XOXO – Bacon
Thanks Brother! But your mom can make a fabulous garbage trash kids bbq!
Snorts – tis true. She is into fire – snorts. XOXO – Bacon
Wish she were mom’s classmate – they were able to set the whole school on fire… with that funny orange coaster :o)
Snorts – it would be hilarious. Mom was quite the little pyromaniac in her day. It’s funny that we don’t have any dolls in our house now. I wonder if she did that with all of them? hhmm – I’m off to ask daddy. XOXO – Bacon
Probably – if you want a good burger, you need a lot of dolls :o)
I wonder what this cute Weimaraner is doing? :O
He is watching his mine -me … I better should wear a garlic necklace… just in case :o)
Well I think that coaster is great unlike MR.FOX…… Hahaha I love the paper mache Easy soooo cute!
Thanks :o) yeah I think the coaster is funny orange – no reason for a big F :o)
That Howl-O-Wheemeraner is just the A* art work of Blogville and beyond!!
Wyatt and Stanzie
Thanks Wyatt&Stanzie! I knoe you are Holw-o-ween experts and if you say it’s good – than it is :o)
I think your mummy showed that evil Mr Fox in the end, I LOVE your paper mache pal!
haha I think so, what a mean guy! She really foxed him :o)