59 Comments

easyblog SHOP TILL YOU DROP

SHOP TILL YOU DROP

Bacon’s and Fozziemum’s Shopping around the world…

Today we shop for:

Water:

We buy a lot of water, not only my mom drinks it every day, I’m a water drinker too. We always buy still water, because the time as my mom tried to burp songs with using soda or sparkling water are over (fortunately because she failed and produced a giant mess).
We buy Vittel for her and WHATEVER WATER for me. Yes, I get mineral water too and that’s not  because the sun shines out  of our butts with prosperity , it’s because the water what comes through the faucet has a strange smell sometimes…
Hers is 6×75 cl = 2.99 euros ($$3.96)

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Mine is 6×2.0 liters = 1.20 euros ($$ 1.56)

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butt there are dinosaurs on the bottle… so it must be good….

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….ahmm Mom that aren’t dinosaurs, that are mountains… probably your water is adulterated with methyl alcohol and therefore it costs more than mine… just saying…

Bath Soap:

We always use shower gel and there we look first for the sign, that it is cruelty free….

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my mom buys tons of that stuff. Maybe she got skunked once that she spend so much time in the bathtub…who knows?
Currently her favorite is:
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Treaclemoon Cool  Melon Fresca, NOT tested on anipals – 500ml 4.99 euros ($$ 6.58)

It’s available in many styles and you can buy bodylotions or handcream and whatnot with the same scent too. There is always a cooking or baking  recipe on the back of every bottle and real “smarties” make  cookies with using that stuff (that was DEFINITELY  NOT suggested on the bottle) and they wonder that the cookies  are totally inedible and that the kitchen smells like the laboratory of Gyro Gearloose, right Mom?

Deodorant:

We don’t use deodorant, because my momma says it wrecks the scent of her perfume, even when she would use a deodorant without a smell. We use a salt-crystal deo stick instead. You have to wet it with water and then you rub it on the stinky places, VOILA! Mission accomplished… client deskunked. And that thingy sustains  furever and ever… Thanks Overlook Twins, nice try, but not your turn today…clear off!
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Murnauers crystal deo stick extra strong: 100gram = 2.07 euros ($$ 2.73) suffices furever and ever…. Ok, well that’s an old story…

Laundry Detergent

We mostly buy OMO, that’s a detergent as old as dirt and it reminds my momma of her childhood. One of the things of the past what still has the same smell. YAY! Don’t be afraid for the price (yes, that stuff is not cheap  here) it’s a pack with 8kg what’s enough for 110 laundry loads (that’s a promo-lie, it’s enough for 90and something washer- loads, butt anyway), 8kg (17.64lbs) are 51.48 euros (including tax) – ($$ 67.94)

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Random Item

Here I proudly present the ultimate and amazing STICKY BUDDY! naaah it’s not the laptop what got a soda shower it’s this one:

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you can remove dirt and dog hairs, from carpets, clothes and car seats in zilch. it has a scratching thingy and a sticky roll and with that thingy you can chase every dirt away…. says Anthony Sullivan. And you will get an additional wonder-thingy: a travel size dirt remover, when you accidentally land in Norman Bates  howltel, where you have to clean the room first, before you can sleep there.

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Mom bought it in her junk store for legendary 2.95 euros ($$3.89)! That’s unbelievable, right?

Butt will it work like promised? 

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How shall I know that….

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I’ve tested that thingy while mom wrote this post….seems, we will never know if it works or not…

HAVE A SUPER SHOPPING TRIP ALL

 

99 Comments

easyblog MISCHIEF MOANDAY

MISCHIEF MOANDAY
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We have a horrible weather, so I decided to bulk up my endless sivermistygrey wisdom with watching TV.
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There was something about the intellect of dogs in TV and I thought I will give it a try…

First there were wolfes what howled…. not bad, butt I sadly speak no wolflish. At least it was a good music to sing along.
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Then there was a pup who dug a hole…. interesting, but I can do that better…

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And then…. then there came a biped who prepared a thrilling animal experiment while placing a treat under a bucket before he called the dog in. YAAAAAWN!
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That’s the dog who was in that “experiment”, he looks not really like the brightest candle of a birthday cake, but the “experiment” is anyway pitiful, so I thought he will pass this test…

butt as if! this guy ran around clueless around the treat under the bucket for 87 hours…. and on top of Mount Embarrassment he plopped on his butt and started to whine…

What a pretzel! And that although I barked him some hints where he can find the treat!

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I was totally disappointed and first I tried to eat my bed with anger, then  tried to jump in the tv to grab that treat when that fluffy plush slipper is not smart enough to get it. Unfortunately I ran down the laptop, the mom and a glass of soda…. What a drama…
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The laptop  went into a connection with the soda furever and ever…. yeah, you two are just what I need, now…

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back to the soda bottle genies! And the sound of the keyboard now is no longer clickety-click, it turned into stickety-stick…

the mom only had a short-time relationship with that sticky stuff, because she can take a bath… the laptop not… it has a hydrophobia…

Butt after a while I forgave my mom and I told her that I’m no longer angry at her…what shall I say… I’m too good-natured…
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Butt after a while I forgave my mom and I told her that I’m no longer angry at her…what shall I say… I’m too good-natured…and I took a selfie of me and a little bit of her…

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Butt that was definitely no INFO-TV, that was pure comedy… for cats.
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HAVE A SUPER MOANDAY ALL

 

58 Comments

easyblog SMART SUNDAY

EASY’S SUNDAY CLASS
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TODAY: math
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YES. Math! Hell-o Class!

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Hell-o Teacher!

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Hope I can reduce you to zero today… hehehehe

 

First we have to solve a little problem with one of the pupils. It’s the snake what regrettably lost an eye…
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…. butt this problem is no problem for Easy…. Ha! now you are a SPECTALEd Cobra, pretty cool,  huh?
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Math. Is the science to solve pawmade abstract structures via logic definitions … or short make your own problems what no one can solve and ruin your future.

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Math was common since the neolithic age, but because the people of that time had weird and nonserious  names like WHAM-BAM or UGH-UGH, the humanity decided to give the laures for the invention  to a guy who came later.  That was the greek guy  Pythagoras whose name sounds not without a reason like the name of a snake. He is dead. That’s no wonder because the whole world, specially the female species, hates him. Butt he died 495 BC, shortly before my mom was born, that means she has a watertight alibi.

That guy in person is the first oxy-moron by itself. He was born 570BC and he died 495 BC? HUH? How can a guy die before he was born? And that Math shall be logic? Pfffff…as if!

Butt anyway he get’s his mail from the mole since many moons, butt his ill-fated heritage tortures people till today…

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…because his legal successor is the Count Count… he is a vampire and they sadly are immortal…

Math is super easy for Easy, butt  a science that’s gender-related. Mostly females turn into a humanoid questionmark when it comes to math, males make a small mouth, narrow their eyes to slits and spit out the results like a twolegged machinegun.

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And sadly men are mean and let their counterparts know that they are vastly superior on that front. Or like my grampy said: In this house the sillyness has an endless party as he saw the result of my mommas and the grannys number acrobatics… and that from a guy who used a dog-shame-poo for two times…

Butt even when females can’t count, they can be calculating…that’s better than nothing, right?

Butt let’s do some practical math now:

What will you get if you send a girl with 100 bucks  into a shoestore?

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WHAT? FOUR? Ha! Never…. that’s totally wrong, you are on the menu list…
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HEY! No prompting please… or you will be the appetiser!
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YAY! RIGHT! your will get ZERO! BRAVO!

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And wait … another one… How much will I have when I eat one of you 7 guys?

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WHAT 8? Typical girl-error, you can’t expend  something to get more… even when they say that always in the commercials…
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6! WOOHOO! RIGHT ! Such a spectacle-thingy makes you smart in zilch huh?

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BRAVO CLASS!
The Teacher is deep impressed and next time I can send one of you out when my mom goes shopping … just in case that one of you will survive this day…

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As I said, math is easy for Easy… and if you need help to sort the numbers you can COUNT  on me….

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HAVE A SMART SUNDAY ALL!

 

69 Comments

easyblog TGIF

TGIF
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Sorry that I was not in blogville yesterday, I hope the lazy mom-thing will read all the news today…
In the morning my grandparents drove back to their crib.  Now I’m alone again  like a spider in the cellar and only the staff is there to  my amusement…That’s always sad, specially if all inmates of my crib had a bad night.
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The grampy and the dad heard a weird noise in the early morning around 2 or 3 am. It was a whistling and shrieking sound what came from outside. The dad said to the grampy  it sounded like something what will explode the next minute. The grampy said, yes, that’s exactly the noise of something what’s under pressure shortly before it bursts. They yawned and then they went back to bed… Whatever it was, it probably exploded not in front of my crib…
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The granny had a bad night because she has head aches. That came because they had no shoehorn in the shoestore and she had to press her flippers without such a thingy in the shoes whereby she dislocated her neck… don’t ask, it’s mystic and confusing, butt she said so.  And in addition she always had and has  a UK-size 5 and she will have it furever and ever …
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thanks Overlook Twins,  now take the next ghost train please….
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… and if the french shoes are labelled with the wrong sizes then it is NOT her fault… And that’s flat … like her flippers… maybe the weird noise came from her feet what were near to death from suffocation in the tight shoes… butt she still has a size 5, that’s the main thing! The sales person of that shoe booth had probably a bad night too, bet she rather had used  the shoehorn for other things than to help my granny in that size 5 slides… just saying…
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Me and the momma had a bad night, because a really bad dog entered my crib and thieved a whole baguette-thingy  what he ate in MY bed … ok, he ate not the whole thingy, he buried the leftovers and tons of crumbs  under mom’s blanket…
The crumbs pricked me the whole night in my silvermistygrey butt and they pricked the mom in her non-silvermistygrey flywheel… till we both felt like fakirs on a bed of nails…
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And that I puked in the morning and  that I’m haunted by the runs, is a mystery  and unfair withal, because it wasn’t me who ate that PUKE-uette.
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HAVE A COMFY FRIDAY ALL
77 Comments

easyblog BAD POETRY MOANDAY

BAD POETRY DAY
Oz invited all Blogvillers to write a super bad poem. I’m great in doing bad things, so here is mine:
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They caught me in the act,
that sadly is a fact.
Was busy with the pillow there
in front of the staff and grampy and grandmére…
They said that’s scandalous and I agree…
when a Weim with a pillow in action they see.
Is it too much when I’m asking for
before  entering they have to knock on the door?
At last that’s definitely
a piracy of a Weim-boy’s privacy….
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HAVE A SUPER MONDAY ALL
41 Comments

easyblog SUNNY SUNDAY

SUPER SUNDAY
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We  have a fest in my village. Every year in august they celebrate a “fête du battage” . There is bad music the whole time (after 87 times of “Daddy Cool” my ears went to sleep modus), a waterfall of booze, a giant BBQ and a pawrade, directly in front of my crib.
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This time my mom entered the window sill to be the show-stopper make a video of the crazy people in their crazy rides. Yes, that’s weird to clamber about while we had the Blogville Safety Week, but weird is her nature…
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I had to watch the pawrade from inside, that means they locked me in the bedroom where I had a bark fest and I ate her jacket (was disgusting too much downer…just saying).
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But even locked in the bedroom I did my best to greet all the people and if you have the time to watche the video, you can see that they waved at ME! and ignored the window sill climbing monkey…
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HAVE A SUPER  SUNDAY ALL
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I’m currently a little busy with entertaining my grandpawrents who came to see their beloved universal heir grandson, butt I commanded my ole momma to keep up with all blogs immediately, or I will share MY bed no longer with her…

 

46 Comments

easyblog SAFETY WEEK IN BLOGVILLE

SARGE, the PAWLICE Commissioner of Blogville and TOP COP SIDEBITE invited all to a SAFETY WEEK. So, here I am with a post too.

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PICKPOCKETING

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Sadly not all peeps are friendly and nice. It needs only one person with sticky fingers to ruin a perfect day. Like the day of  two women I know briefly…one was old, the other one ancient…

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Once this two women visited a well known  Christmas Fair.  The old one  was on the rocks, therefore the ancient  one invited her… While meandering around and looking at the 87 different booths they had there and between a gazillion of people it happened:

a mean son of a flying monkey on a pogo stick cut off the ancient’s  bag with a carpet knife! She only wore the handles on her shoulder without the bag and between all that crowd she had no clue that her bag with all her money and the papers is on the tramp with such a dirty tramp. Butt besides that it looks totally stupid to wear handles without a bag, the two christmas shoppers were broken without buying tons of useless things. Yiiikes! They immediately went to the police what was present on the fair and they tried to explain what happened. The police-guy noticed the bagless but not handles-less ancient  and brought both to a police-bus.

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There were three other handles with their upset owners, waiting to  fail a charge… and because all were women the noise level  in that bus was somewhere between a starting Airbus and a volcano eruption.. although the police-guy was very wise and offered tea and gingerbread to the bagless women and remained silent till they had to breathe  before he talked.  After writing a report and after 87 phonecalls to block the stolen cards, they handed out some papers you need to prove  that you are you even without id-card and  all the victims, except the handles, what they  needed for evidence,  could leave the bus, because more handles with women were waiting outside.

The old  and the ancient drove home with the tail between their legs and the day at the christmas fair turned into a CHRISTMAS FEAR. It’s awful to be  surrounded by food and drinks and nearly plastered from the smell while you can buy nothing because you are as poor as dirt. And there is still the embarrassing memory  that you ran around like an idiot with two handles on your shoulder… and not to mention  the effort you have to get your papers back and to re-open your blocked account and the fear that this tramp maybe has ruined your life furever… that’s horrible…honestly…

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… and therefore we will never forgive that sneaking thief ! …and on top of that,  the bag was expensive….Howly SHITake mushroom!  WhaTaFun

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So, how can you protect yourself, your bag and your last cents? That’s easy:

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-never put valuable things in your butt-pocket, use those on the front of your pants. Wallets or car keys  in butt-pockets have the bad habit to disappear while you perch on a honey bucket…. and it’s disgusting to fish in the shit…. just saying….

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– touching and fiddling with the “Treasure-Pocket” the whole time  is bad, thieves have an eye for such things and otherwise it looks odd when you play around  with your fingers in the front pocket of your pants

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– don’t take the whole family assets to public events, take only the amount you want to waste there. And if you know how much you have in the wallet you haven’t to count it in public, that’s anyway dangerous.

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– leave your cards at home, except you have a debit card with only a small amount for emergency cases

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– if you want to show the world your brandnew handbag anyway , please shorten the straps and wear it under your armpit while you move through a crowd and never let it dangle around your butt

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– if you have a backpack, wear it on the chest, even when it looks stupid.

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– keep zippers and clasps closed

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– wear your car keys on a really safe place, with the remote in the key it’s easy peasy for a thief to locate the car what fits to the key

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– leave nothing unattended, grab money and cards immediately as soon as the clerk of a booth gives it back to you

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– make copies of your id-card and driving license. If we visit a show or a festival we only take copies of our id-pieces with us. in worst case they will not be accepted by officials. butt honestly, we rather have a dispute with a vigilante than to lose our certified self. A new passport here  is 80 bucks, a new driving license costs 35 bucks, except for the effort and the time you waste to get a new “me”.   If you get trouble with this tip, call my momma she is a verbal machine gun.

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If you are still unsure how to protect yourself, visit WOODSTOCK, there the people wear nothing than a birthday suit. You can lose a lot there too , oh yeah!, but definitely not  your money … at least not directly… eventually  later…
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At last some words for the most valuable thingy you can bring to a public event: YOUR PET.

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If the event you  like to visit isn’t an event for&with pets or advertised as pet-friendly, please leave your BFF at home (and please never ever in the car). We don’t like loud music, people who scream (Just In, Just In!), engine noises or sirens of fair rides and as much as we like sweet things and treats, you can bring us some of them when you are back, it isn’t essential that we get it directly on the spot.

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Have fun on festival, shows, parades and keep an eye on all your treasures.

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And if you want to read more Safety Week posts, hop over and read what my friends wrote:
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