90 Comments

easyblog SMART SUNDAY

WELCOME TO EASY’S SUNDAY CLASS
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HELL-O CLASS!
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HELL-O TEACHER!
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Oh we have a new student?
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aaaah naaah we haven’t it’s just the snake…. butt now it’s called a BLINDWORM…
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OK , just one thingy today, because it’s a howl-i-day, butt it’s an essential lesson:
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NEVER… EVER eat semi FROZEN plum cake!
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Or you will feel like this woman who couldn’t resist yesterday… And this woman feels really bad… butt I have to admit that she can run really fast measured against her biblical age….so let’s pursue some studies at the running object of ridicule…
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HAVE A SUPER  LONG LABOR DAY WEEKEND ALL!
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…and that we are left out for the labor day super sales of the us-stores is simply scandalous…. judging from the fact that even the frozen sugar plum fairy lumbered to the compawter to buy running shoes…
93 Comments

easyblog SHOW AND TELL – A HAIRY TAIL

BLAST FROM THE PAST – BACON’S SHOW AN TELL
This time the little oinker asked for a toy that you really loved as a child and absolutely could not live without that you had hours and hours of entertainment playing with. Or furver and ever and ever like the Overlook-Twins would say.
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Thanks girls, your 5 seconds of fame are over, back to room 237… Shoo!
For my mom this toy was FREDDY. He still lives in my crib but in a box in the attic (like the haunted monkey-thingy of Mr. King).
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My mom was a fan of the ole serial DAKTARI and her greatest wish was a monkey, like the poor animal what acted in the serial named Judy. Yes, they really were poor creatures, one of the lions was tortured with a stick by his owner and all in all the ones who should been hit with a stick are the guys from MGM for creating such a mendacious trash on the back of animals.
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Butt my mom was a child at her first year in school and she loved  to see the animals and specially Judy the chimp. So she asked for a plush monkey every day and tortured her pawrents with nervkilling whining. One day as her granny was there for a visit and she was in the town with her mom and the granny the wish flared up again. While they were in a street cafe. Her mom would show the granny her fabulous educational methods and said: NO!
And that was the moment where my mom screamed like an air raid siren that the people in the cafe were frozen in shock. After 2 minutes and a collective hearing loss of all the people around the granny said: Ok, I see you have a super good grip on all things, butt please go and buy that darned monkey beast now, before they start to evacuate the whole town…
The mom of my mom entered the next toy store, grabbed any monkey thingy and brought it to her spoilt brat beloved daughter wo stopped the screaming immediately.
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I admit there are some differences between Judy of Daktari and the thingy named Freddy, butt for my mom Freddy was her soulmate and BFF immediately. Because of the fact that my mom couldn’t write, Freddy was like a diary and my mom told him all her secrets and woes.
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Butt she not whispered her secrets in Freddy’s ear, naaah that wouldn’t be too cheap… they had phonecalls together. Unfortunately in ole times they  had no cordless phones with 87 hand sets , they only had ONE phone, what was the service telephon for my grampy that he is available every time. Butt Mom and Freddy gave a monkeys fart on that fact, mom took the real phone, Freddy got the shower hose of the bathtub and VIOLA! their own samarite line was invented. They had endless phonecalls together and if Freddy could talk, he could fill books with endless wisdom.
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The idea only had two flaws, first: it isn’t smart to confess all your sins through the whole house while your parents are at home. Butt that was conditioned by the non wireless phone and the non wireless showerhose and second: it was a service phone for my grampy and if you are not available when your lord calls you, you will be overlooked at the next promotion….just saying…
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… oh and Freddy has a chewed ear from the long phone calls…. therefore mom sends him sms now…
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For any grief and any sorrow call Dr. Freddy today or tomorrow! … or send a sms :o)
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…aaaand because today is  FRACTURED FRYDAY HAIRY TAILS, hosted by MURPHY&STANLEY I can continue the story. The phrase for today is:
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I can’t believe I ate …
Yes, you know me and you will guess what comes…
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Ok, here it is… I can’t believe I ate…
FREDDY!
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Yeah. Freddy landed at the ER where mom fixed his head and the silvermistygrey monkey slayer had to beg for asylum at dad’s….. because dad’s side of the bed is something like Burkina Faso  and has no extradition treaty… with no one…
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Tough  Toenails, Mom, huh?
83 Comments

easyblog SHOP TILL YOU DROP

SHOP TILL YOU DROP

Bacon’s and Fozziemum’s Shopping around the world…

Today we shop for:

Water:

We buy a lot of water, not only my mom drinks it every day, I’m a water drinker too. We always buy still water, because the time as my mom tried to burp songs with using soda or sparkling water are over (fortunately because she failed and produced a giant mess).
We buy Vittel for her and WHATEVER WATER for me. Yes, I get mineral water too and that’s not  because the sun shines out  of our butts with prosperity , it’s because the water what comes through the faucet has a strange smell sometimes…
Hers is 6×75 cl = 2.99 euros ($$3.96)

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Mine is 6×2.0 liters = 1.20 euros ($$ 1.56)

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butt there are dinosaurs on the bottle… so it must be good….

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….ahmm Mom that aren’t dinosaurs, that are mountains… probably your water is adulterated with methyl alcohol and therefore it costs more than mine… just saying…

Bath Soap:

We always use shower gel and there we look first for the sign, that it is cruelty free….

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my mom buys tons of that stuff. Maybe she got skunked once that she spend so much time in the bathtub…who knows?
Currently her favorite is:
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Treaclemoon Cool  Melon Fresca, NOT tested on anipals – 500ml 4.99 euros ($$ 6.58)

It’s available in many styles and you can buy bodylotions or handcream and whatnot with the same scent too. There is always a cooking or baking  recipe on the back of every bottle and real “smarties” make  cookies with using that stuff (that was DEFINITELY  NOT suggested on the bottle) and they wonder that the cookies  are totally inedible and that the kitchen smells like the laboratory of Gyro Gearloose, right Mom?

Deodorant:

We don’t use deodorant, because my momma says it wrecks the scent of her perfume, even when she would use a deodorant without a smell. We use a salt-crystal deo stick instead. You have to wet it with water and then you rub it on the stinky places, VOILA! Mission accomplished… client deskunked. And that thingy sustains  furever and ever… Thanks Overlook Twins, nice try, but not your turn today…clear off!
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Murnauers crystal deo stick extra strong: 100gram = 2.07 euros ($$ 2.73) suffices furever and ever…. Ok, well that’s an old story…

Laundry Detergent

We mostly buy OMO, that’s a detergent as old as dirt and it reminds my momma of her childhood. One of the things of the past what still has the same smell. YAY! Don’t be afraid for the price (yes, that stuff is not cheap  here) it’s a pack with 8kg what’s enough for 110 laundry loads (that’s a promo-lie, it’s enough for 90and something washer- loads, butt anyway), 8kg (17.64lbs) are 51.48 euros (including tax) – ($$ 67.94)

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Random Item

Here I proudly present the ultimate and amazing STICKY BUDDY! naaah it’s not the laptop what got a soda shower it’s this one:

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you can remove dirt and dog hairs, from carpets, clothes and car seats in zilch. it has a scratching thingy and a sticky roll and with that thingy you can chase every dirt away…. says Anthony Sullivan. And you will get an additional wonder-thingy: a travel size dirt remover, when you accidentally land in Norman Bates  howltel, where you have to clean the room first, before you can sleep there.

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Mom bought it in her junk store for legendary 2.95 euros ($$3.89)! That’s unbelievable, right?

Butt will it work like promised? 

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How shall I know that….

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I’ve tested that thingy while mom wrote this post….seems, we will never know if it works or not…

HAVE A SUPER SHOPPING TRIP ALL

 

102 Comments

easyblog MISCHIEF MOANDAY

MISCHIEF MOANDAY
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We have a horrible weather, so I decided to bulk up my endless sivermistygrey wisdom with watching TV.
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There was something about the intellect of dogs in TV and I thought I will give it a try…

First there were wolfes what howled…. not bad, butt I sadly speak no wolflish. At least it was a good music to sing along.
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Then there was a pup who dug a hole…. interesting, but I can do that better…

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And then…. then there came a biped who prepared a thrilling animal experiment while placing a treat under a bucket before he called the dog in. YAAAAAWN!
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That’s the dog who was in that “experiment”, he looks not really like the brightest candle of a birthday cake, but the “experiment” is anyway pitiful, so I thought he will pass this test…

butt as if! this guy ran around clueless around the treat under the bucket for 87 hours…. and on top of Mount Embarrassment he plopped on his butt and started to whine…

What a pretzel! And that although I barked him some hints where he can find the treat!

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I was totally disappointed and first I tried to eat my bed with anger, then  tried to jump in the tv to grab that treat when that fluffy plush slipper is not smart enough to get it. Unfortunately I ran down the laptop, the mom and a glass of soda…. What a drama…
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The laptop  went into a connection with the soda furever and ever…. yeah, you two are just what I need, now…

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back to the soda bottle genies! And the sound of the keyboard now is no longer clickety-click, it turned into stickety-stick…

the mom only had a short-time relationship with that sticky stuff, because she can take a bath… the laptop not… it has a hydrophobia…

Butt after a while I forgave my mom and I told her that I’m no longer angry at her…what shall I say… I’m too good-natured…
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Butt after a while I forgave my mom and I told her that I’m no longer angry at her…what shall I say… I’m too good-natured…and I took a selfie of me and a little bit of her…

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Butt that was definitely no INFO-TV, that was pure comedy… for cats.
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HAVE A SUPER MOANDAY ALL

 

59 Comments

easyblog SMART SUNDAY

EASY’S SUNDAY CLASS
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TODAY: math
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YES. Math! Hell-o Class!

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Hell-o Teacher!

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Hope I can reduce you to zero today… hehehehe

 

First we have to solve a little problem with one of the pupils. It’s the snake what regrettably lost an eye…
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…. butt this problem is no problem for Easy…. Ha! now you are a SPECTALEd Cobra, pretty cool,  huh?
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Math. Is the science to solve pawmade abstract structures via logic definitions … or short make your own problems what no one can solve and ruin your future.

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Math was common since the neolithic age, but because the people of that time had weird and nonserious  names like WHAM-BAM or UGH-UGH, the humanity decided to give the laures for the invention  to a guy who came later.  That was the greek guy  Pythagoras whose name sounds not without a reason like the name of a snake. He is dead. That’s no wonder because the whole world, specially the female species, hates him. Butt he died 495 BC, shortly before my mom was born, that means she has a watertight alibi.

That guy in person is the first oxy-moron by itself. He was born 570BC and he died 495 BC? HUH? How can a guy die before he was born? And that Math shall be logic? Pfffff…as if!

Butt anyway he get’s his mail from the mole since many moons, butt his ill-fated heritage tortures people till today…

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…because his legal successor is the Count Count… he is a vampire and they sadly are immortal…

Math is super easy for Easy, butt  a science that’s gender-related. Mostly females turn into a humanoid questionmark when it comes to math, males make a small mouth, narrow their eyes to slits and spit out the results like a twolegged machinegun.

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And sadly men are mean and let their counterparts know that they are vastly superior on that front. Or like my grampy said: In this house the sillyness has an endless party as he saw the result of my mommas and the grannys number acrobatics… and that from a guy who used a dog-shame-poo for two times…

Butt even when females can’t count, they can be calculating…that’s better than nothing, right?

Butt let’s do some practical math now:

What will you get if you send a girl with 100 bucks  into a shoestore?

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WHAT? FOUR? Ha! Never…. that’s totally wrong, you are on the menu list…
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HEY! No prompting please… or you will be the appetiser!
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YAY! RIGHT! your will get ZERO! BRAVO!

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And wait … another one… How much will I have when I eat one of you 7 guys?

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WHAT 8? Typical girl-error, you can’t expend  something to get more… even when they say that always in the commercials…
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6! WOOHOO! RIGHT ! Such a spectacle-thingy makes you smart in zilch huh?

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BRAVO CLASS!
The Teacher is deep impressed and next time I can send one of you out when my mom goes shopping … just in case that one of you will survive this day…

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As I said, math is easy for Easy… and if you need help to sort the numbers you can COUNT  on me….

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HAVE A SMART SUNDAY ALL!

 

70 Comments

easyblog TGIF

TGIF
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Sorry that I was not in blogville yesterday, I hope the lazy mom-thing will read all the news today…
In the morning my grandparents drove back to their crib.  Now I’m alone again  like a spider in the cellar and only the staff is there to  my amusement…That’s always sad, specially if all inmates of my crib had a bad night.
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The grampy and the dad heard a weird noise in the early morning around 2 or 3 am. It was a whistling and shrieking sound what came from outside. The dad said to the grampy  it sounded like something what will explode the next minute. The grampy said, yes, that’s exactly the noise of something what’s under pressure shortly before it bursts. They yawned and then they went back to bed… Whatever it was, it probably exploded not in front of my crib…
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The granny had a bad night because she has head aches. That came because they had no shoehorn in the shoestore and she had to press her flippers without such a thingy in the shoes whereby she dislocated her neck… don’t ask, it’s mystic and confusing, butt she said so.  And in addition she always had and has  a UK-size 5 and she will have it furever and ever …
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thanks Overlook Twins,  now take the next ghost train please….
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… and if the french shoes are labelled with the wrong sizes then it is NOT her fault… And that’s flat … like her flippers… maybe the weird noise came from her feet what were near to death from suffocation in the tight shoes… butt she still has a size 5, that’s the main thing! The sales person of that shoe booth had probably a bad night too, bet she rather had used  the shoehorn for other things than to help my granny in that size 5 slides… just saying…
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Me and the momma had a bad night, because a really bad dog entered my crib and thieved a whole baguette-thingy  what he ate in MY bed … ok, he ate not the whole thingy, he buried the leftovers and tons of crumbs  under mom’s blanket…
The crumbs pricked me the whole night in my silvermistygrey butt and they pricked the mom in her non-silvermistygrey flywheel… till we both felt like fakirs on a bed of nails…
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And that I puked in the morning and  that I’m haunted by the runs, is a mystery  and unfair withal, because it wasn’t me who ate that PUKE-uette.
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HAVE A COMFY FRIDAY ALL
77 Comments

easyblog BAD POETRY MOANDAY

BAD POETRY DAY
Oz invited all Blogvillers to write a super bad poem. I’m great in doing bad things, so here is mine:
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They caught me in the act,
that sadly is a fact.
Was busy with the pillow there
in front of the staff and grampy and grandmére…
They said that’s scandalous and I agree…
when a Weim with a pillow in action they see.
Is it too much when I’m asking for
before  entering they have to knock on the door?
At last that’s definitely
a piracy of a Weim-boy’s privacy….
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HAVE A SUPER MONDAY ALL
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