Hell-o
to a new epawsode of Bacon’s SHOW&TELL. This time we want to share a funny or special thing what happened as we were childs… ummm…. well… where shall I begin? hehehehehe…. Butt guess what? I could begin with the the begin… the begin of my mom’s career as a junior criminal…
It happened many moons ago as my momma was 11 or 12 years old… It was summer and it was as hot as in hell and there was Liz her partner in crime friend and there was Sylvie who invited mom and Liz to her birthday party. Butt it was friggin hot and the two girls were not in the mood to drive the 3 miles UPHILL with their bikes to Sylvie’s crib… and yes, it’s still hot…
… and while hanging around on the farm of my mommas grandpawrents, they discovered the ole Fendt what mom’s grampy used to clean the stable and for transporting hay and straw… Liz-Bonnie and Clyde-mom needed no words, only a screwdriver to start the traktor. Liz and the birthday gift for Silvie jumped on the loading space and off they went. They sure could maneuvre farm machines, like efurry farmkid butt it is a difference between driving in a stable or on a field and to drive on a real street, specially when your ride has still the muck fork installed. Butt they ignored the fact that they wobbled along like a ship in distress, they were only glad that they found a way to make that three miles uphill without any effort.
Unfortunately Sylvie’s crib was next to the school and un-unfortunately that day the caretaker of the school had to call the pawlice because someone smeared bad words on the walls of that school…. that darned young vandals, may they rott in hell…
And because the bad luck sticks always on my momma like the sh*t on the butt of a sheep, they got busted by the pawlice… what a timing…
The pawlice asked for the drivers license and the documents… uuuuh come on… they were 12 , no 12 year olds have any papers … specially not when they look like 10…
And because Liz and my mom were hardcore consuments of The Streets of San Francisco and Kojak, they knew how to act in such a case. Liz and mom took the fifth and demanded a lawyer. The pawlice claimed the key of the ride and ooooh their face as my momma offered them the screwdriver… and then they grabbed and escorted the two Jane D’oh’s to the paddy wagon and brought them to the nick of the next town. Fortunately they crossed the village of mom an Liz and mom’s granny saw them wild waving behind the window of the paddy wagon as she had a cat chat on the street with her neighbor Chris.
Chris jumped on her bike and offered to inform Liz’s mom and moms grampy (and en passant all inmates of the whole kraal) and so mommas grampy and Liz’s mom turned into the cavalry and galopped in their dirty work clothes to the town, to rescue the two jailbirds.
The pawlice-guys were humorless idiots, they really would blow up that flyspeck to a real case and because 12 year olds are incapable of crime, they tried to pee on the grampy and Liz’s mom for neglect of parental responsibility. After a battle with a lot HBO words and wasting a lot of time and paper, they gave in and set them free with a reprimand what was furgotten as soon as the door jumped into the lock…
….and we jump too… directly to the FFHT-Hop by the Mayors Murphy and Stanley
That was the furst time ever… that ALL dramatis personae learnt something:
Sylvie learnt that to eat the whole birthday cake alone leads to a night in the bathroom… butt that’s NO reason to break up with Liz and my momma… just saying…
Liz learnt that the loading space of a traktor is no sofa, there is always something what smells not like roses and it hurts to throw your best jeans away…. butt hey… at the end that greasy stinky stuff from your butt was in the pawlice car too… well done!
Liz’s momma learnt that to run away from 60 cows without opening the intake of the milk tank leads to a giant mess and to a consumption of the wallet
My mommas grampy learnt that silence is golden and much better than to tell a hellion kid how to start a tractor with a screw driver…. and to tell the same kid that to drive a tractor is THE SAME like driving a car is just plain insane…
My momma learnt that to be a criminal pays off, because she kept that wisdom of her grampy deep inside of herself and by now she treats all cars like a tractor…
The screwdriver learnt that he has to live in a property room now because that idiots furgot to give it back …
The pawlice learnt that you can’t squeeze blood out of a turnip… butt hey, they got a free screwdriver… better than nothing…
An today I learnt something too… now I know WHY some things in my crib are like they are and that my mommas criminal energy accrued by outside influences and dilemmas and that she is quasi a victim of society …. or just a hellion… I don’t know…
HAVE A GOOD FURRYDAY ALL
Easy Blog 
Well, the police had one very serious offence to take care of: Violation of the security of traffic. That is dangerous like hell, just imagine something HAD HAPPENED – not even to your female human, but to another kid, a toddler maybe, who’d just jumped out in front of the tractor? For sure the police could not just let the girls go with a “well done, you, don’t do it again!”
it was a foolish thing they did and they had no clue about the consequences… they were kids, careless and full of crazy ideas…
Sure they were kids, but 12, not 8 years old – that they were kids was recognized by the law, which kept them unpunished. But they were not that small that a serious preaching was out of place.
Dramas!
Guess it was foolish but at least back then there weren’t so many cars on the road and that contraption doesn’t look like it would go at much of a lick 😉 Just how many more crazy escapades does your Mom have from her junior criminal past? 😀
Wow your mom is going to be on the castrated milk carton as Frances most wanted. I know why those rotten pawlice kept the hot wire screw driver… My aunty Bev will tell you they come in handy to start the shopping trolleys that are on a chain gang .. Or it’s a handy tool for taking number plates off cars that don’t pay a bribe !
… oh you can use it for the shopping carts when you furgot the tag or the small moneeh? that’s great, many thanks for the tip :o)
There’s definitely one thing FOR SURE Easy……your Mom had a VERY “interesting and exciting” childhood! HAHAHAHA My Mom was giggling like crazy reading about the hijacked truck on the road to the birthday party and your Mom and her friend being stuck in the slammer until rescued by Grandma…..I’m surprised your Mom doesn’t carry a screwdriver around with her in case she loses her car key (or does she???!!!!!).
Hugs, Sammy
Never a dull moment in your world!
what a story- kids look for adventure but are not ready to think the entire venture through- part of growing up!
LMAO that was great! We used to have to open the trunk of our car with a screwdriver but never start the car. You gals as kids were just too clever I love it.
OMD this really broke me up! My mom had her teeth removed surgically today and she ordered me to stop laughing as the noise is making her new dentures hurt. Now we know where these insane taxi drivers in Africa got the idea to start the taxis with screwdrivers. I think your mom is tops.
please give me a sign when they need another taxi driver… I send her over. she anyway wants to go back to ZA once :o)
No, no, nononono, we do not need another driver destroying our faith in the human race. My dad is an excellent driver (of the backseat kind), but my mom – she just floors that pedal and she must be very hard of hearing;, she takes no notice when my dad starts yelling.
Definitely the most interesting childhood 🙂
Dy-ing… dying laughing! Your Mom would have been a great addition to my gal pal group that could NOT stay out of trouble!
WOW! Your mom inspires me my friend. She has talent and has had it since early childhood. The things I could learn from her are endless. Will she take me on as a student? Just think of the things I could learn and do around here at the Hotel Thompson. ❤ Houdini
OMD! Nice. We would have been fast friends I think!
BOL Easy, your momma is a car thief at an early age. It’s surprising then she keeps the elephant skater around for so long and hasn’t picked the lock of another, fancier car. BOL
Oz
A hellion of rebellion like me when I chase the cat
Haha – great story Easy. I say she was a victim of pawlice idiocy.
OMG, OMG, Easy!!!! What a pity that that loading space did not contain some manure! Your mom could have become the foremother of the Green Movement – tilling and dropping dung on the roads is one of the greenest ideas of mankind ever!
But unfortunately (again), this really uplifting idea is always bedazzled in my mind by the scenery of two little hooman puppies in handcuffs requesting for a lawyer…
they had no handcuffs for small people… but the one police guy had them on their arms and escorted them to the car… they both laughed the whole way till Liz noticed that her birthday is soon too (actually tomorrow, she is August the I.) and they worried that they have to celebrate in jail (at least they still had one gift, even when it was for Sylvie :o)
They sure are lucky they had a get out of jail free card
Lily & Edward
OMD…Your Mom was a REAL Jailbird! Cool!
BOL!! That’s a pawesome story.
My goodness Easy, that could explain a lot pal!
OH MY WORD EASY….YOUR MOM HAD A LIFETIME OF EXPERIENCES WAY BEFORE SHE MET YOU SO THAT MAKES HER THE BEST WEIMIE MOM WHO IS COMPLETELY FAMILIAR W ANY MISCHIEF YOU TRY TO PRODUCE!!
THANKS FOR THE LOL ESPECIALL THE “sh** ON THE BUTT OF A SHEEP”. YOU HAVE SUCH A WAY WITH WORDS. WE STILL LOL AT “ICE CREAM CEMETERY.”
hUGS MADI YOUR BFFF
Easy, we have a solution for you for how you can get lots and lots of treats. Your Mom needs to ride a book about all those amazing tales from her childhood!!!
Woos – Ciara and Lightning
You and your staff have the best stories, Easy! 😀
It all makes sense now!
Hahahahahahahahaha ouch my side hurts hahahahahhahahahah
I don’t know what to say, but Mom and Katie have a comment. They used to live in Bernbach, right next to Marktoberdorf im Allgaeu which is where Fendt comes from, AND Fendt was just chosen as the best tractors in the world. Sadly, they drove an Audi at the time and never a Fendt. But, they know about Fendt as Bernbach was a tiny town with lots of farms.
that were the bestest farm rides ever, efurrybody could drive it and there was nothing you couldn’t do with a Fendt. Sadly they became expensive later and we had to switch to massey ferguson :o(
So this is why your mom acts so weird at times….criminal tendencies never go away…they just lay dormant until the right opportunity shows itself.
(((Shoko)))
Hey Easy!
Wow, that’s the funniest FFHT of the whole bunch! BWAR HAR HAR to your criminal Peep. Kids do the darndest thingies and especially armed with a tool. Gosh, I’ll have to try that screwdriver trick to see if I can take myself for a ride. Bonnie and Clyde have nothing on those two kiddies. BOL
Grr and Woof,
Sarge, All American Mutt
Hari OM
OMDness Easy… no wonder you are how you are… look at the role model, the example given… remember that next time you find yourself in the schtuck and milk it!… hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx
OMD! Easy your mom is just so entertaining with her stories of her childhood!
hugs
Mr Bailey, Hazel & Mabel
As always Easy anudder funny stowry ’bout yous mommy. Glad all was well. Mommy sez she needs to learn dat scwu dwiver twick. MOL
Luv ya’
Dezi and Lexi
Easy, you always have us in stitches! So your mom started early as a junior criminal, huh? We think she has lots of stories and if you get some time away from her you might write a tell-all book!
Your Pals,
Murphy & Stanley
PS – Watch for the addition of our “BAR” page on Wednesday so the latest information on the Blogville Awesome Retreat in June 2016!
That is a very exciting prison story! I’ll bet that was the first time the police was given a screwdriver for keys! Bahaha! I think you can hold this incident to remind Mom next time you are accused of a criminal act like eating a hole in a blanket. Pff! That is small potatoes. ♥
What a pawesome FFHT Easy, and everyone even learned something!!
Smileys!
Dory, Jakey, Arty & Bilbo
Oh Easy, your mom has the best. stories. ever. You seem take after her I think. 😉
Your grampy knew how to drive? I thought he only trafficked in stolen vehicles across international lines.
too funny (except police not famous for sense of humor) .
Hahaha at least lessons were learned.
That was quite a tale to tell.
Mew mew mew grate Show an Tell story Easy an Lady Katty!!!
**nose bumpsss** Siddhartha Henry an LadyMum xXxXx