wanna hear a cool shocktober-story? A really creepy one? Butt it’s a secret… a DIRTY SECRET… literally…
shall I tell it? Yes? Ok, here we go…
My mom is on a die-t, that’s no biggie she always rides that poneh, butt sometimes she get’s depressed with eating nothing than air and grass and then the treat-devil grasps her on her butt and forces her to eat treats…
The object of desire were Pretzels with chocolate… that’s weird to cover salted Pretzels with chocolate, butt probably that treat was tailored for my mom…
She tossed the Pretzels in her mouth while using her paws as an excavator shovel…. till the bag was empty….
Butt that wasn’t enough… she took the bag and tried to pour the crumbs in her mouth … butt mostly treat bags fit not to humanoid pie-holes and you make a mess … Like my momma…
She looked down on the blankie where she had parked her butt and saw some crumbs… what she grabbed with her greedy paws and threw it in her mouth…
BUTT…. suddenly she started to cough and to gag and to keck like crazy… and she ran to the bathroom where she made other weird noises…
BECAUSE: that crumbs weren’t made of chocolate and Pretzels… that were delicious dirt crumbs what fell off of my dirty paws…. EEEEWWWW!!!!!
That’s disagreeable to hear butt not my problem…and I got anyway nothing from that Pretzels… so it’s her loss…
And my dad and me can’t understand why she is as cross as anything now…. probably to eat dirt from the back yard turns moms into Grumpy Cat…
That we laughed like hyenas can’t be the reason… or can it? Butt anyway, the mom is back on her die-t and she is still drepressed… or DEPRETZELED
BTW: How much calories has dirt? zero, right? maybe it’s a good idea to include it in her die-t plan, huh? And is dirt vegetarian food or not?
HAVE A TASTY TUESDAY ALL
I would think dirt is vegetarian food, Easy, unless there’s a worm in it I guess. I would have laughed like a hyena too.
Glad to hear you and dad helped your mum by laughing at her – the greatest help of all!
mmm dog dirt, delicious! 😀
Hilarious, best way to cure Mom of her chocolate craving (although not to be recommended !)
Loves and licky kisses
Princess Leah xxx
I should think dirt is an excellent diet food! Also perhaps rocks although those might not COME OUT as easily as they might GO IN (if you know what I mean). My Mom had a bad snack attack yesterday too…..a whole bag of caramel corn – gone – but no crumbs left (even dirt ones).
I think your mom shouldn’t make mess in YOUR bed. This is your privilege and your mom infringed your rights by dispersing that strange thingy there. She only got what she deserved.
BOL funny Easy. One good thing is of course the low calorie value of dirt. Have a terrific tasty Tuesday.
Best wishes Molly
Well, may I say how lucky she was it was dirt and not something else…..
I think dirt is delicious. I eat it off my paws a lot. I do not understand people sometimes!
Love and licks,
spit cough, I do not know what the problem is I eat poop
MOL MOL MOL MOL MY MOM IS OLDER THAN DIRT AND YOUR MOM EATS DIRT.
THAT IS HILARIOUS. BLESS HER HEART SHE WAS HUNGRY. MY MOM UNDERSTANDS SHE WOULD NOT WANT TO WASTE (REAL) CHOCOLATE EITHER.
THANKS FOR THE TASTY TUESDAY FUNNY
HUGS MADI YOUR BFFF
I completely understand what you said about your mom’s die-t and how she feels sometimes; my mom has the same problem too. She will say that she can’t eat this, can’t eat that, dr doesn’t allow her this and that; then suddenly she says “I don’t care about it anymore! I want my day! I want my life! I want my chocolate and cake and bread and wine……
By the way, dirt crumbs sound great!
LOL! Mom eating dirt, ROTFL! Oh my! My mom would be out of her skin mad too!
Chocolate covered pretzels are my complete downfall… I too have been known to eat the entire bag. There wouldn’t be enough mouthwash for me to get that dirt taste out of my mouth though. I can hear Easy laughing all the way over here. 🙂 Time for some chocolate covered almonds I say
We think dirt is a healthy food because it’s organic. ???
it could of been worse – that could of been butt crumbs or “cling-ons’ as mom calls them – little bits of poop 🙂
I absolutely LOVE chocolate covered pretzels, especially dark chocolate. Dirt crumbs, not so much.
Soil has lots of nutrients! Mmmm.
OUR mom has been down in the dumps so she really needed this story today…good friends can laugh at each other right?????
OH MY GOD! She probably is going to get dyspepsia of the hypothalamus or some other dread condition. (And you laughed at her – – – SHAME, SHAME, SHAME.
I bet if it were chocolate covered Easy paw dirt she would have loved it. And really dirt is the perfect die-t food. First it has no calories and if one does not like paw dirt then you don’t eat it. Yep perfect die-t food.
Snorts – what’s up with our moms on these DIEt things?! That’s disgusting. Really they are. And what’s wrong with dirt? Once I watched as dad dropped something on the floor. He picked it up and ate it afterwards. I stared at him and he stared at me and then said, “Five second rule”. What’s that? I thought after it hit the floor, it should be all mine. Snorts. Good luck brother. Call me if you need me to send you a care package for your mom 🙂 We have great dirt here in the south – double snorts and rolls around laughing. XOXO – Bacon
I must try chocolate covered pretzels! I will pass on the dirt.. 🙂 Ida had a cranky too if I ate dirt!
Bwwwwah!!! My Mom would have done something like that! “excavator shovel” love it! xoxoxo Oh and your Mom doesn’t need a diet!
Oh my! Bet she won’t eat no crumbs no more
Lily & Edward
Easy wait till you Mom sees what Lee had Sunday ~ A Salty Carmel Trufflelata. That is heaven in a cup. http://www.godiva.com/handmade-shakes/trufflelata.html
Dirt has to be vegan. There was a kid in the hood who loved to eat dirt. They say dirt contains a lot of mineral. May Lee should join your Mom in a diet since the Trufflelata.
Thanks for being a friend
Sweet William The Scot
now she NEEDS such a trufflelata…. I will go to my back yard to collect some truffles for her.. I’m a good boy :o)
Oh noes your poor mummy!
Dirt? Mineral content I think – that’s good, right? Silly people go out and buy minerals and vitamins when it all could be pawed over to them from the yard! Paw waves and giggles sent!
Yikes! Those pretzel things take on a twist of their own sometimes Easy!
You should collect that stuff, bag it and sell it – great diet food 😀
Nothing wrong with a little dirt. It helps build the immune system. Much safer than a vaccination-no mercury or aluminum. She should be thankful that it wasn’t weim poo.
How nice of you to help with that diet!
Oh Easy we LOVE our salads here and when Zoie was with us she would eat lots of salad stuff with us!!
BOL, ROTFL….. she would write a book about da Triple D diet (aka Da Dirt Diet).
BaaaaWaaaah… that is SOOOOOO funny Easy. BUTT we don’t understand your mum’s aversion to eating DIRT… Dirt is DELICIOUS… and NUTRITIOUS and DELIGHTFUL…. PLUS it is our FAVORITE COLOR… Silly Peeps… Dirt is fur Dogs.
We were relieved to find out it was just dirt, we, like some others here, was afraid it was something else BOL!
Mr Bailey & Hazel
Well Easy yous know there awe peeps hoo actually eat dirt. They say they need da minewals it purrvides. MOL So sowwy yous mommy didn’t like it though, it must be an aquiwed tasste. MOL
We are so glad that it was dirt and not poop! Our mom loves those chocolate covered pretzels. And guess what . . . she is on a D.I.E.T. too!
Murphy & Stanley
hahaha…your mom must have looked so funny eating dirt instead of crumbs….bet she felt like a knucklehead afterwards to. Maybe next time you’ll get the crumbs because she won’t be sure if they’re crumbs or dirt.
BOL!! OMD, buddy, that SO sounds like something Momma would do when she’s on a chocolate binge.
OMD mom laughed so hard! Not at your mom of course poor thing! And mine loves those chocolate covered pretzel things a lot too so she understands. Love Dolly
When I was little Big Bro gave me this dog treat shaped like a Hershey’s kiss. Only when I was eating it did he go “That’s a dog treat! It’s made out of dirt and newspaper!” I went crying to my Mom who said if I ate something because my brother told me to, not to expect sympathy.
I laughed so hard at this tale. Hope the diet is a little more tasty tomorrow.
Abby the Labby’s Mom
Oh noooo! Uh oh! Please don’t tell your mum I’m laughing at her Easy!… Your poor mum!!
Still, since you didn’t mind sharing… she could have shared with you too, right?
Hugs, Carrie and pups x
Humans are VERY STRANGE! We’ve seen Mom shovel in food with her paws too…it’s not a pretty sight.
The Florida Furkids
Oh dear Easy, your poor Mum can’t win can she?!! Hope she isn’t off those yummy looking pretzels forever after that nasty mishap!
Oh Easy, you just brightened up our morning at your poor mom’s expense! Hehe. We can’t resist those yummy treats either (well, forgoing the dirt…).
OH Easy, I laughed out loud at your poor mom…maybe she’ll quit her obsession with chocolate covered pretzels now?
OMC!!! you are having way too much fun!
Wow, the dirt diet is the only one that I haven’t failed at yet. Let me know if it works! BOL!!
BOL! Well Easy that is pretty funny. I say your mom is brave for admitting this too. It’s good to laugh at ourselves sometimes 🙂
Mmmm good to the last crumb. I’ve been known to lick a bag clean of crumbs. At the PetSafe summit Sugar the Golden’s mom and Oz the Terrier and I were talking about how funny your mom is.
Whoops…..like it’s not bad enough to have to diet anyway, that’s just adding insult to injury.
Don’t. Think grass And dirt have a lot of calories , you’d have to ask Aspen. Aspen eats a lot of dirt till. He gets caught.
BOL I don’t think your momz needs a diet, eat all the yummy pretzels you want.
Okayz now dat we haz stopped laffin like Hyenaz here we wantz to say we iz sowwy yer Mum eated dirt…..eeeewwwww…phank KATGOD dere where no wermz in it..
Me asked Mum ’bout dirt n she sayz it haz no caloriez butt iz not da bestest flaver…altho she sayz she ate enuff when she waz a hu’man kitt (no wunder she haz tummy trubble now da she iz old as dirt, MOL!!!)
So we finkz yer Mum shudd fourgo da dirt n purhappz find sum tastee cardboard fiburr snackz what will fill her up n stop her cravinz…
Me Mum haz pawfull cravinz n sumtimez crunchie snackz of nommie guudness what iz full of caloreez showz up here n me givez Mum da **stink eye**.
Maybee ya must do dat to yer Mum…..
Guud luck to ya n to yer Mum on her die-et…*shudderz*
Lub Nylablue xxxxxxx
Hahaha thanks for the laugh (sorry).
It could have been worse than dirt! BOL!