FRACTURED FRYDAY HAIRY TAILS
by MURPHY&STANLEY
.
fryday0
.
this week:

“Just when I thought things couldn’t get worse . . . “
IMG_0218
This time I will tell you the story of our chimney…. it was an endless story for 4 years… and I hope that story hasn’t another chapter…

It began in 2009 as a hornet tribe decided to live in the smokestack of our chimney. Unfortunately they built their hornet-city direct in the middle of the smokestack so you couldn’t remove them, neither from above nor from below… Hornets are disgusting. They can sting you and because they live carnivore their shit smells like…shit…
The fact is that we don’t live in a forest where we occupied their biosphere, we live in a village and they occupied my habitat. So they had to go. Butt how…

IMG_0221
.
The firefighters we called, said that they aren’t responsible for private buildings they only have to remove insects from public buildings. Butt the firefighters sold us a spray what allegedly sprays up to a distance of  7 meters… yeah… maybe… butt not when you have to put your nut in the open chimney and if you have  to spray upwardly… because then the whole benedictory mist comes back and lands on you…. butt no worries my dad survived the poisonous shower, even when it was painful. Butt true  heroes are made of steel right?
.
IMG_0224
.
The hornets applauded at my poisoned dad and gave a monkeys fart on the fact that we paid 37 bucks for this spray-bomb… We tried to light  the chimney, butt they only left their city, hovered around the stack and went back. We used stinky incense sticks and a  diy-flamethrower… no success… and so we called around if someone can help. Even Rent-o-kill said “no thanks”, because they had no equipment to enter our roof, the bee keeper we called  was 83 years old and not keen to walk on clouds or on our roof top and  no one whould lend us such a long ladder or a truck with a lift and a working cage and so we had to bear the horrible hornets…. and we had to close our chimney with a slab and tons of crime scene tape…
.
IMG_0222
.
Butt JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THINGS COULDN’T GET WORSE and I was afraid that we will have a cold crib in fall and winter my mom had an idea…
.
Ideas of my mom are either criminal or dangerous and in worst case they are both. Like this time. We only had to wait till the hornets die or are plastered with the first frost. Then  my granny bought a giant box with new years rockets and firework  as soon as that stuff was  available and she brought all that explosive stuff to my crib as they visited me for christmas. They removed all things from the living room and  then my dad placed one of the rockets in an empty bottle what he placed in the open chimney and then he  lighted the rocket. SWWWWWIIIISSSSH! said the rocket rushed through the smokestack and bursted in the air…. awww yellow and green stars, how nice… but sadly a miss…

.

IMG_0220
.
After some rockets we shot in the air with missing the goal our neighbor came and asked what kind of firewood we use….  and that was the moment as my mom was sick of that senseless banging and tied a lot of rockets together with some firecrackers what were in that new years box together with the rockets. My dad, that fearless firebug, fired this giant bomb and put the slab on the chimney hole  immediately. …. three… zero…one…lift off!  WHOOOM! and with a giant BANG! we launched  the weirdest Apollo Mission ever …. because of the different firework thingies my mom cobbled together the rockets lost their uplift force and they tottered around like a fart in a drum till  they bursted in our chimney….. the slab flew away and within a minute you coulnd’t even see the last man standing in our living room because of the giant dust cloud and the soot what came out of our chimney…. but there was a crackling noise too and guess what  they  saw: HORNET CITY CAME DOWN & LAYS IN ASHES! YAY! VICTORY! POBJEDA! TRIUNFO! ZAFER!
The dust-ghosts celebrated their  victory and the clever mom-missile and the neighbor nodded recognizing with his head…. till he saw the surprising degree…
.
IMG_0219 ruins of Pompeji chimney
.
The explosion of mom’s missile demolished the whole smokestack, the  cast and plaster came down  and we even got a crack in the wall of the office… that means the smoke of the burning chimney  comes out now there and therefore we only can use this chimney with a chimney liner and a fireplace insert…and we need a chimney guy…
.
csm
.
The chimney guy said he will come tomorrow and that was on 12/22/2009… but by now he never appeared… and so  I spend my FIRST CHRISTMAS in that furmily  on a field of devastation and we waited till last year that the guy comes tomorow and we had to heat up my crib with electricity all that time (that’s like burning money)…. and  JUST WHEN I THOUGHT THINGS COULDN’T GET WORSE…. you maybe remember what  happened last christmas as my dad and my granny tried to fix the chimney… it was the 
NIGHTMARE BEFORE CHRISTMAS... literally, butt the hardcore version…
.
My beautiful picture
.
This year the hornets live in the smokestack of our kitchen,  there we  have a fireplace insert and nevertheless some of this creepy critters enter my crib …. although we still have some leftovers from the firework thingies my mom isn’t allowed to build another mom-missile…. butt she is on the path of war and I’m sure she will find a way… or another…
.
IMG_0223
.
HAVE A SUPER FRYDAY ALL

About easyweimaraner

Weimaraner /Braque de Weimar, born in 2009, male & fabulous From: Britanny / France Likes: Plushtoy-Shredding, Spikebones,long distance Walks, everyday a Gift, Chicken, Shoes, Underwear, my squeekie Pig & my whole Life Dislikes: Water, Cats, Beaf, Cats, cleaning my Ears, Cats, the Vet, Cats, Snow & CATS! Profession: Student of psychological War-technics & Terrorism, after my Masterdegree i become to rule the world or maybe to be the owner of toys r us. actually i'm not sure... Status: Single Pets: Hell, NO! i prefer a petfree home. but owner of two slaves for my comfy Misc.: Greencardowner for Masterbed, Master of Beggin, Prince of Thiefs We decided to leave Easy's datas as they were... although we lost him in november 2016, he is still with us.... and his little brothers Phenny and Nelly promised to write on not as Easy the weim, but as easy Weimaraner... About us: Mr. Phoenix, born 9/9/2016 a virgo and always clever&smart...Neilson, born 7/28/2017 a leo who thinks he is clever&smart...

80 responses »

  1. Easy, I was planning not to look at any FFHT posts today, ‘cos after my horrid week I thought it wouldn’t be a good idea to read about things getting worse. But you know what, these disaster stories, when they happen to someone else, really are cathartic. I feel so much better now. Thank you Easy.
    Toodle pip!
    Bertie.

  2. Wow that sounds terrible… we have that spray stuff here too and we get lots of nests around our property. It works pretty good I think, except they just seem to go and build a nest somewhere else, the survivors. Last year, we had our killer bee hive attack my dad and grandpa for no good reason and they called in the beekeeper to take out the hive. Well, the bees are back this year but they haven’t shown any signs that they are killer bees yet…

    • this bees are horrible, we had them at our church… fortunately there the firefighters could remove them. I hope we can reach the nest with a spray or a flame thrower…it’s scary to have such house guests :o)

  3. OMD Easy nothing is simple in your crib. Peeps is crying with (laughter) sympathy. I can’t believe the evil sting bombers have moved to the kitchen. Crikey why does mum not make them a cheesecake???? Please no more mumbombs. Have a fabulous Friday.
    Best wishes Molly.

  4. Easy this truly is a “fractured fairy tale” – you are plagued by hornets and mom-bombs and all manner of destruction at every turn. That fireplace is I’m sure haunted by some kind of evil force that’s determined to keep you and your parents from using that fireplace to keep warm (although I’m sure the hornets are nice and warm up in the stack!). Wish I had the answer for you……alas I don’t. My parents have a screen up around the fireplace stack which seems to keep stuff from getting in there BUTTTT hornets are small enough to get through the screen and every year when we have our FIRST fire in the fireplace, we see a couple of hornets. After one or two good fires though we see them NO MORE. I hope some kind of plague attacks the hornets and they die or fly away…………..you need some peace and quiet around there!

    Hugs, Sammy

    • sadly our hornets are fireproof, they come back after some hours. my dad said we need a small grid or a net around our stack to keep them out. my mom said we could close the whole stack…. and now she is pondering why dad gave her THE LOOK.

  5. fozziemum says:

    Easy…well…after going to the loo because of laughing too much..sympathy of course..what a dang disaster this whole thing has been …I mean I have to admire mum ..ground control to major mum….commencing countdown engines on hahaaha….I am of course curious as to whom was holding what appears to be a cooking pot in the pic where dad is going where no dad should go..DIY chimney..and why ? ..goodness me what a hornets nest has been stirred up indeed…yikes!!! hugs and loves Fozziemum xx

    • hahahaha…. wait now I have to go to the loo too… ok, I’m back… that’s a connecting piece for the chimney. sadly it was the wrong thingy and so my dad decided to modify that thingy, butt to adapt an adapter isn’t easy and in the photo my grampy presented adapter #2 to the two building cowboys who ruined adapter #1 with brute force and a NON-sense of proportion :o)

  6. It could only happen in the Easy household. We think Grandma has a death wish bringing fireworks into your house 😀

  7. fredrieka says:

    best laid plans,, cost money and the clean up must have been crazy what is wrong with some people Easy?

  8. Goose says:

    Oh brother that is a “things couldn’t get worse” story and it does get worse. What a stinging story. Now I hesitate to share this with you for fear it might give your missile mom an idea butt here goes. When my MOM lived in Virginia with her cousin and her husband there was a flaming chimney story. Here is the short version: It was a few days after Christmas and family was gathered around. When the husband of MOM’s cousin (we will call him Dean cuz that’s his name) decided to get rid of the Christmas tree. This is an OK idea as the tree was dead and dry and needles were falling everywhere. BUTT Dean had this idea after a few gallons of beer. So he took the dried out Christmas tree and shoved it UP the chimney. Yep shoved it right up there. There he drank another beer and lit a match and and WHOOOOOSH, as the saying goes it lit up like a Christmas tree. The fire was so BIG that the flames shot out of the TOP of the chimney!!!! MOM and her cousin went outside because the smoke and heat inside was way to much to bear and they looked up at the chimney and flames were shooting out. It looked like the roof was on fire!! Then Dean came outside looking for more trees to shove up the chimney hole. Butt MOM and her cousin sat him is a snow bank and sat on him. I bet your hornets would not survive a chimney fire like that. Butt neither would your crib. However I bet the firefighter when they come would then take care of the hornets.
    Blessings,
    Goose

    • Goose, brother that’s a very special version of LIGHT UP THE TREE…. wow! bet the boys of the bloodhound gang saw that and wrote their “da roof is on fire” song.
      Dad will call the fire fighter chief tonight, maybe they can remove hornet city via training lesson….

  9. We don’t know what to say – apart from we are surprised you house is still standing 🙂 🙂

  10. YIKES that IS a Hairy Tale! Every year we get birds who nest in our fireplace. Every year Mom says to Dad they need to cap it….every year they forget when the birds leave….repeat….year after year. We did get bees that come back in our yard every year. This year they decided to build a nest in our concrete fence 😦 We’re glad our Mom didn’t build any mom-bombs!!!

    The Florida Furkids

  11. merbear74 says:

    Oh, I hate hornets…I hope mom comes up with something to blast them away….ka-boom.

  12. I have a suggestion. Have the entire family eat my grandmother’s soup made of cabbage, lentils and dried mushrooms. The whole house will have a rather peculiar odor and the hornets will leave and never come back. HOWEVER; please don’t light any matches or have any open flames for six hours.

  13. OMD!!! Easy, you are very LUCKY that you even have a crib left at all! Keep those firewords far away from Mom…..please!

  14. Oh My! I am dying.. laughing. What with the Mom Missile and all!!! Your Mom and Granny are too funny and poor Dad. They think it up and your Dad carries out the plan.. same as our house. And now I don’t feel so bad about all the stupid annoying stuff that happens to what I thought was only us on the Tiny Ten! Some day must tell your about the frozen sh*t pipe at our lagoon. Oh and I am sure Easy your Mom will find a way! Oh MY!!!!

    • oh I would like to hear that story!!!! maybe we should have a sh*t bloghop once, we have a story about a broken wastepipe too hahahahaha
      hope we will find a way to wreck hornet city again and I cross my paws that this time one of this humans is smart enough to place a grid or a net on the smoke stack…

  15. PigLove says:

    Oh WOW brother. Now that is quite a predicament to find oneself with in the crib. I applaud your mom at her creativity of using fireworks to evacuate the ones not paying rent. It does make me wonder what the next step could be in getting rid of them… I’ll think of this and see. Most interesting indeed. XOXO – Bacon

  16. Oh Easy – you and your mom make me laugh. Such adventures! I hope you find an easier method to get rid of this new nest – they are nasty!

  17. stella rose says:

    OH EASY guess what we had honey bees in our outer family room wall for two years, they kept building and building until one day dad decided it was enough, he tried to smoke them out, cos afterall he smokes and it about kills us all off in the house, well they left in a rage, and parked their butts in the local pine tree, it was a scary scary picture, like an army ready to invade our house, then once the smoke was gone, they went back. Eventually someone came up with an idea to move them, because they are kind and loving bees, not like your hornets and they are now gone and so is the honey!!! We are sorry about your disaster, parents sometimes make poor choices. Stella rose

  18. Holy hornets, Batman! My s-i-l had a hornet problem just about a week ago (also in France, evidently great hornet territory) but was told they were a protected species, so she couldn’t kill them. It was an entirely awful experience, one I’m glad was done before I arrive next week, especially the part where the maddened hornets were coming down the chimney into the stove and the house!!

    janet

    • I skipped that part :o) It’s true, there is a “obligatory tolerance”, butt I wrote the hornets a notice to leave what they sadly irgnored and so I have to take action for possession ;o) a land what mistreats dogs and cats protects hornets and wasps… a farce…

  19. The OP Pack says:

    No THAT has to be the very bes of all FFHT we have heard. We aren’t going to let the Momster see this post because we have had nornets build their nest in our chimney top too. We didn’t see them this year, so we hope they are gone. No one wants to get WAAAAAYYYYYY up there on our very high and steep roof. Luckily we don’t use the fireplaces that lead to this nesting area.

    We will be anxiously awaiting the outcome of this new nest at your crib.

    Woos – Phantom, Ciara, and Lightning

    • I wonder why they always pick this places? that’s crazy that so much blogvillers said they had or have them too there. I hope we will find a way to destroy hornet city, best without using a mom-idea lol

  20. amkuska says:

    Wow, that’s dedication. I’m not sure I’d be comfortable using fireworks indoors.

  21. Emmadog says:

    What a terrible predicament! Hornets are so rotten, you must get rid of them. They need their own place, no freeloading at Easy’s place!

  22. Oh easy to be able to live at your house! You have all the fun. Gman destroys stuff but so far hasn’t blown anything up. We need to have our chimney sweeped maybe we should try the missile hooked to a broom. Gonna miss reading about your adventures, stAy safe and I will check back in in ten days. Xoxoxo

  23. kolytyi says:

    I seriously hope that your mom does not want to learn from this case and she does not come up with the opposite idea of hiring a fire-engine in order to flush those hornets from the chimney with a torrent of water from above.

  24. Will and Eko says:

    Oh boy, it’s WW3 over there!

  25. Bravo!! Bravo!! You had us gripped by your wonderful storytelling! OK, there might have been some laughter involved in there too. Your line about your mom about her ideas being criminal or dangerous or both cracked us up! Well done and thanks for pawticipating! We’ll add your link for you!

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

  26. cecilia07 says:

    Easy darlin’ I am speechless….what an O R D E A L!! Flying critters are a nuisance…
    We have been battling Carpenter Bees here but at least they don’t come inside.
    Their purpose in life is to bore holes in wood then the build nest in the cavities. The real estate they like best is the wood on the HIGH eaves of our house. So high up we cannot reach them with insect spray. Dad likes to spray them with the water hose as they enter their new hole…the fall to the ground and he smashes them with his size 11 1/2 foot.
    They have ruined the entire wooden eave. We will have to replace it with some tough hardiplank….
    Hugs madi your bfff

    • and they call them carpenter bees? that are wrecking bees…. we tried the waterhose-trick too, but they fly inside the stack and laugh at my dad. and we can’t flood the smoke stack, my mom would kill my dad lol

  27. Two French Bulldogs says:

    One time they started flying in our house too. They were coming out of a ceiling light!!!! Those sheeps scare me standing at your fireplace. We would scream at them for sure
    Lily & Edward

    • wow, from a ceiling light? ewww, hope you chased them away…. I dislike the sheeps too but I’m not allowed to eat them … butt I try it bit by bit and I remove a piece of their fur when I meet them hehehe

  28. Brian says:

    Oh my goodness Easy, that is way, way worse than a bee in a bonnet!

  29. YAM says:

    Hari OM
    ………..herhraaaeeehahhaaharrrhaharaaraarhahhrrr af …what kinda woodya useee….dkhheec; can’t type… laughed into asthma….. stay safe and warm y’all… Hugs and wags, YAM-aunty xxx

  30. How scary! Did you know bees sting once and hornets are worse because they can sting multiple times.

  31. Sasha says:

    Holy Dogs Easy, that is a really scary story!! Yikes, I am so glad we don’t have any of those evil creatures close by us. We do get nests on our deck sometimes, but we have a bug guy come and then they are poof and gone. Rest now my pal.

    Loveys Sasha

  32. pawedblog says:

    Oh my gosh, Easy!! What a terrible tail!… Though maybe your mum can market the mum-missile, I could think of a few good uses for one 😉
    I cannot believe after all of that you have another creepy community, we have our paws crossed for a better and more permanent outcome for you all 😦
    Hugs, Carrie and Pups x

  33. dezizworld says:

    OMC Easy meez sowwy but weez just laffed and laffed da whole story long. Weez know this is a weally big purrawlem and not nice at all, but mommy kuld just see all of this as yous descwibed it. Yous know mommy’s know a pawful lot ’bout gettin’ wid of pesky cwitters, they just not know nuffin’ ’bout “housin'”. Sorry yous mommy blasted a whole/cwack in da wall but at least hers did get wid of fda hornets nest. Is there no way y’all kuld leep them out in da first place? And furthermowe, why is it dat all da “beekeepers” be old fawts dat can barely get wound. Weez had a purrawlem wiff bees a foo years ago and da bee keeper dat showed up wuz a little short older man whose glasses be so fick it made hims eyes look like full size plates. MOL Good luck wiff da hornets.

    Luv ya’

    Dezi and Lexi

  34. catfromhell says:

    Bwa! Haa!! Haaa!!! Easy! Yous did it! Yous made coffee comes out Mommy’s nose! My Mommy was laughing because what your Mommy odes is furry much like how my Mommy solves problem. Can yous imagine what would happen if they gots together….
    Kisses
    Nellie

  35. raisingdaisy says:

    Oh no, that sure was a scary thing to have happen! Chimneys are like that – we had stink bugs coming in through the chimney a few years ago. Mommy was freaking out something awful. She called an exterminator and freaked out at them until they said they’d send someone right over. They did, and no more stinkies. But at least they don’t bite!!

  36. wyatt says:

    Yikes! Good luck with those nasty hornets. We have what you call “social paper wasps” here. But, they are not very social…just stinging JERKS! And we also have bats…very Howl-O Weenie!

    Wyatt and Stanzie

  37. Midwestern Plant Girl says:

    OMG Easy! Hide your mom’s lighter!

  38. Oh Easy that is the funniest story that I have read in a while! I had to read it out loud to my husband. Thanks for the laughs!! ☺

  39. fernerose says:

    I would just LOVE LOVE to give you a big hug and a kiss!!! Do you love to kiss ??? Zoie did!!

  40. Kyla says:

    I underestimated your peeps. I didn’t realize that They were rocket scientists.

  41. Oh my!! Why so many hornets around you guys? What fun watching your pawrents though.hahaha

    (((Shoko)))

  42. Oh wow. it is the old home renovation predicament. Fix one problem, get another. 🙂

  43. rottwlrmom says:

    I can’t stop laughing…I would have helped your mom with the mom bomb!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.