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Today I join MENTAL MAMA and her 7 weeks of weird:
WEIRD HABITS
That’s NOT easy because all our habits are weird. Butt I will share a weird thingy of my Momma with you:
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My mom can’t drive with two hands, she is far away from the “at ten minutes to two-grip” she learnt at driving school.
She always has her left hand on her right knee to help her stilt to step on the gas, that’s called “dual-speed” then…. With her right hand she picks up the steering wheel up gingerly… as it it would be a rainworm or a spider..
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The three fingers on the wheel and the hand on the knee lead sometimes to a letter where they celebrate her as a traffic-cowboy . Butt that kind of fame is not for free and it costs 45 euros ( more is not possible the ride has only 84 hp)… Oh and guess what? Even the system we have to pay that fines here is weird… You have to drive to a tobacco-store or a bar!!! (probably to celebrate the fine you’ve got) first.
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There you have to buy stamps, called “timbre amende” that means “donation stamps” amounting to the Fame Shame-diploma you’ve got. Then the tobacco-guy sends the numbers of your stamps to the idiots who placed the radar trap on your way… …although that is declared as a “donation” you can’t write it off against the tax…what a travesty of justice! Butt anyway…Je m’en branle…. back to weird:
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It turns weird-weird when my mom has to use indicator… because her left hand is still welded on her right knee and so she has to use her left knee to lock the steering well while she maneuvres the indicator with her right hand over the steering wheel.
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Sometimes her wrist hurts, because we have a gazillion of roundabouts in France and it’s not easy to turn your wrist like a contortionist. To smoke a cigarette while driving or to manage the sound on board of the Elephant Skate is a challenge and her pitiable passengers mostly close their eyes or send their last will via sms to their family… except my granny. She never drove a car and she only has a class A driver license and therefore she thinks fate would have it so…
No one knows why my Momma does that,not even herself… and I feel sorry for her driving instructor in the aftermath… BTW: I just saw the clock of the Elephant Skate today… I’m afraid we move to a state what Mr. Burns would call nuclear meltdown risk…
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HAVE A SUPER WEIRDNESDAY ALL
Easy Blog 
those are some fancy hand moves while driving. and I assuming stick shift? 😀
Easy I am afraid for your safety. What would happen if your mom had to adjust the volume when your dad’s rival comes on the radio and she wants to turn it up and she has to use the indicator that she is turning into her treasure store? I have an extra blind fold I could send you so you do not have to see what would about to happen. Or Or maybe you could get a bus pass and have a professional drive you about. Be safe brother and if you have to go to the bar to pay a ticket then have a few drinks before you get back in the Elephant Skate.
Blessings,
Goose
no worries, brother. My dad is the driver when I’m on board… and mom is my seat pad on the back seat :o) Oh and when dad drives no rival Rod is allowed :o)
Most interesting brother. She drives with one hand? I would most definitely pay for my ‘donations’ at a bar. I would probably have to get drunk if I thought about how much the fine was – snorts. Then again, I’m a pig. Why would I be driving in the first place, right? Then again, if daddy can’t see and he sat behind the wheel and I told him where to go – snorts – would that work? hhmm – this is an interesting thought to ponder. I must go talk to him. Great post my friend! XOXO – Bacon
Brother I bet that’s something like the “last meal” that you can pay your fine in a bar, so you can wash away all the trouble and the fume about that darned letter…
I’m sure it would work if you would be his GPS (global pig system)…and he even had to manage the pedals…because our legs are to short :o(
Exactly what I’m talking about. I think this could work and be a win-win situation for the both of us. Now if I can just convince him to trust me – snorts. XOXO – Bacon
oh and you can drive as fast as you want…without getting penalty points on your driver’s license… you have none :o)
(but when they try to stamp the penalty points on your back, I would sue them)
Oh most definitely. Can you see it now on the news. Blind man stopped for speeding while driving car being directed by a Global Pig System. It will cause a revolt around the world I’m sure. Snorts. XOXO – Bacon
I think that’s the moment you will meet Oprah… in pawson… :o)
Awesomesauce. I’m going to try to convince dad now. Would could possibly go wrong? XOXO – Bacon
you would become famous… is that wrong? naah :o)
Still laughing about the traffic cowboy. I think I’m glad we were driving far across the country from your mom! 🙂
janet
hahahaha yes… but all her french fellow drivers are not much better :o)
Well Easy, it sounds to me like you need a blindfold AND perhaps a “relaxer” medicine in order to ride with your Mom in the Elephant Skate…..yep – that one-handed/one-kneed thing is bothersome and slightly scary. At least my Mom uses both hands MOST of the time. Maybe I should be glad I only get in the car with her once a year for the Vet-Guy???? I do like the idea of paying traffic fines in a bar though. It seems fitting…..and a lot more fun than in court like here!
Hugs, Sammy
Sammy the worst thing is, that in a bar are lots of traffic-cowboys too… and if they see that you got a honorary certificate the fine will become really expensive with all the rounds you have to pay :o)
Bwahaahah Easy how talented your mum is the Euro Contortionist Driver par excellence..i fear Fozziedad has a similar affliction…driving with the knees while doing interpretative finger signs to two handed drivers..it’s a pity your mum can’t save the stamps in an album and go to meetings with other Euro Contortionist Drivers and swap the pretty ones for ugly ones…maybe Santa can bring you a safety harness woth parachute for xmas 🙂 hugs and loves Fozziemum xx
hahahaha, it’s important to communicate with other car drivers, like Cher once said: Love and Understanding… even with finger signs :o) I think Santa could bring me my own Taxi cab with a driver that would be the best :o)
Hahaaah I agree..i often use what us Aussie call the two finger salute..it can be therapeutic..it is also known as the two beers hahaa …we should work on a blogville translate of names for these important actions so we can all use multi cultural signing hahahaah;) if you get a taxi can with driver make sure he has not hit any pawlice cars 😉
that salute costs more than the 45 bucks (and the rounds you have to pay for the traffic cowboys in the bar), so they mostly lift imaginary balls with a bent arm here:o)
Bwahaaahah that’s amazing..i don’t think anyone here really cares about the salutes ..I do the forehead slap or the game show prize hostess one handed ‘well there you go ‘ wave….sounds like more fun In France 😉
of course butt sometimes they are very rude… even with words… but Christina Aguilera said: words can’t bring me down :o) so I show them where the bird has his nest and where they can kiss me and all things are good :o)
bwahahaah good for you my friend 🙂 and I think all things indeed are good when have a little fun with signs and language 🙂 🙂
Sadly are roads are so rutted with all the heavy trucks driving on them – we have to drive with two hands otherwise you get pulled around like a dodge-um car 🙂
oh that’s uncomfy to feel like riding on a horse when you have a bad street. butt at least you can’t drive too fast and you haven’t to visit a bar where all other traffic cowboys give you standing ovations when you pay your ceriticate of honour :o)
Cripes, you must feel you’re joining the Whacky Races every time you go out with Mom 😀
I rather let my dad drive, he can’t be mom’s co-pilot (he’s not brave enough)
Can understand that… LOL!
HAHAHAHA!!! Hope she doesn’t feel the need to wave “hello” to anyone while driving! 😉
maybe she can do that with her foot… to drive free-handed could be too much, even for my momma hahahaha
I drive one-handed most of the time, but that’s because there’s usually a cigarette in the other hand.
I wish I had a hand more to hold my knee, the wheel and a cigarette :o)
Roundabouts are enough to curve anyone into weird habits! Glad you’re there to keep an eye on things Easy!
they are awful and mostly the reason for a big bang… probably they are there because the peeps here have NO clue about left yields to right :o(
Blimey sounds more like a yoga lesson than a drive Easy. That sure is a unique way of driving. We hate roundabouts too and we have a lot of them as well. Must be a European Roundabout Mafia? Have a wonderful Wednesday.
Best wishes Molly
Molly I bet there is a Mr. Roundabout who makes a lot of money with his useless merry-go-arounds … and I hate that no one of this carousel-riders knows an indicator… wait maybe they can’t use that thingy because they have their hand on the knee? like my momma?
Ok those rules are nutty
Snorts,
Lily & Edward
hahahaha yes, it makes no sense to pay a fine in a bar for driving plastered :o)
OMG, I didn’t know that Elephants are such a brave animals!
they have the patience of a saint… otherwise they would strangle such drivers like my momma with their trunk :o)
Easy, I think I’ve solved the mystery of your mom’s strange paw choreography. It’s by no means strange but completely natural if you consider that in your mom’s brainbox, there are no cerebral hemispheres but cerebral quarters. Those poor quarters have been jumbled when your mom (like me!) jumped out of her little bed when she was a small puppy and landed on her head. Unfortunately, each limb is connected to a different cerebral quartet – thus, it is no wonder that her right back paw acts jointly with her left front paw.
that can be the reason… think we can blame it on her pawrents. they never let her wear a helmet in bed :O)
At least mom doesn’t have one hand tied behind her back Easy!
that would be funny… but I don’t know if she can drive tht way… butt it’s wort a try, huh?
Good thing you have your dad to drive you around most of the time. Those sure are some funny driving habits.
Millie & Walter
I’m grateful for this fact too…I’m always nervous in the car… but with mom on the wheel? …a nightmare :o)
I see you drive an “Airbag”. We have that brand of vehicle also.
that must be a big carmaker, huh? think my mom likes that brand, she has a bag-obsession… even for bags what have noting inside than air :o)
I’m not going to say it…..I’m not going to say it
dogs have telepathic skills…. I agree with that what you not said :o)
It sounds like a two-creature job, mom should handle the wheel, easy should handle the signals.
I offered her the leg room, so she can maneuvre the pedals (my legs are too short to reach them) while I drive.
She said NAAH! unfair, I have 4 paws for the wheel and a tail for the signals…
OH MY STARS Easy I have never ever seen such a driving style…but it appears to work for your Mama….but I agree it is weird!!
Hugs madi your bfff
she literally drove her driving instructor crazy…no wonder that he turned into a howler monkey :o)
Mom says when they lived in Germany they had weird stamps for booze and cigarettes….
stella rose
Oh I remember that :o) but at least you got something for your stamps, we not only get a thank you note for our donation :o)
Gosh, when Gail’s Dad’s driving licence was finally confiscated (aged 89, two years after his Alzheimer’s diagnosis and having had glaucoma for 20 years) we thought the roads were safe at last. Now we are not so sure….
Toodle pip!
Bertie.
Bertie fortunately we have some water between our countries, so you are save from the onehanded mom :o)
Very strange driving technique! I would have to ride blindfolded!
maybe we should add some eye masks to our first aid kit in the car :o)…or some booze :o)
Want to hear something even MORE strange? My Mom can ONLY drive a stick shift……..YEP…that’s true. Mom CANNOT DRIVE an automatic car. ALL of Mom’s cars have been stick shifts. I think THAT is the weirdest ever! Barks and licks and love, Dakota
Guess what? Mom mom only drives car with a stick shift, she said she needs something in her hand (the one what not holds her knee). She had an R5 (pitiful ride, not worth to google it, trust me) with automatic once and deadlocked the engine. car guy said that’s world record (butt she got no medal, just a bill)
This weird habits is going to be fun. Tell your mama to be careful driving – be sure and wear your seatbelt!
I don’t drive with her… she is a public danger, so better my dad has both hands on the wheel when I’m on board :o)
Your Momma is very talented. 🙂
ahmmm… yes :o) probably her driving instructor thought that too, he just used a different word :o)
interesting way of driving Easy,my dad does the driving in our house mummy refuses to learn alway moaning there are to many idiots on the road to learn so why add another…she may have a good point!xx Speedy
I think your mom is totally right…. hope my mom will not read my post hehehehehe
HOW could she EVER pet YOU if she has both hands… thusly engaged???? AND what if a BEE flew in??? OMD Easy… this is not a good thingy… like those crazy Round Abouts/ ROTERY thingys… that are cropping up in THIS country also.
Fortunately I have my own driver: dad, so she has both hands to pet me :o) that roundabouts are awful, they are like the road to nowhere when they forgot to add the signs… dad drove 87 times round around till the gps girl found the right exit :o(
We have some of those roundabouts right here in our town – Mom does NOT like them.
we are very impressed with the clock on the elephant skater – is that miles or some other measure???
hugs
Mr Bailey, Hazel & Greta
roundabouts are like the road to hell I agree :o( that are km, in miles: 143035… that’s 5.7x around the world :o) not bad for such a small ride :o)
I can’t drive a stick so all these moves while shifting gears should win a medal or some timbres at least, eh?
better to be an anonymous hero, that stamps can become as expensive as the Blue Mauritius :o)
Your mom needs to get OFF THE ROAD immediately. She can drive a clown car at the circus with that technique. Yikes!
Love and licks and “Taxi!”,
Cupcake
hahahaha that Elephant Skate is a little like a clown car… we only have to paint it in a nice color… I suggest electric orange, that’s like a warning sign and all other cardrivers have the chance to disappear when they see my mom :o)
Oh Easy, your Mom should be playing Twister with those moves!
Marty that mom is like a twister… think they should add the fact that she is on the road to the traffic news :o)
I meant the game ‘Twister’ Easy, dots on a big mat, spin the wheel, have to put your hand/foot on that colored dot, play with others, get all “twisted” up, she would be good at it with her moves in the car!
hahaha I know… we all are waiting till the whole mom is a knot with her crazy contortions :o)
🙂
Easy! Maybe you could lend a paw to mummy while she is driving? It looks like she doesn’t have enough of her own… I was dizzy even reading how she does the driving there!
Hugs, Carrie and Pups x
mom said that’s a good idea, I could hold a cigarette or I could send the friendly handsigns to the other drivers :o)
Oh don’t pick all the fun parts though… Sign language to other drivers is one of the best bits!
Hugs, Carrie and Pups x
She has a strange way of handling the wheel for sure. I always have my paws at 10 and 2 when I drive!
mom said she can’t drive in that position… all people would see her dirty paws :o)
Wow, those are some very weird but cool moves. At least we are happy to see she has one hand on the wheel – who knows what would happen if not???
Woos – Phantom, Ciara, and Lightning
probably the same as she tried to drive her bike without hands… fortunately she has that airbag thingy :o)
I don’t like to drive, so I’m usually the passenger. When I do drive, I’m sure that I’d be someone that you’d zoom past! I’m definitely a 10 and 2 driver in the slow lane! LOL!
I always wonder why her driving instructore gave her the lincense once… bet the only reason was that he had to see my mom no longer :o)
One hand only if necessary but not a fan of driving … I like to be a passenger 🙂 n give directions. Golden Woofs
mom is a bad passenger, she always tries to drive even when she is on the back seat (poor dad)
We’re gonna agree with you on this one Easy, it is very weird indeed. Maybe you should make sure you always wear your seat belt. Just in case you know . . .
Your Pals,
Murphy & Stanley
Pee Ess – Just 2 days until the first ever Fractured Fryday Hairy Tails (see tab on our bloggy for details).
fortunately my dad is the driver when I’m on board… butt then mom talks more to him than the gps-girl…think we better put her in the cargo area :o)
So sorry Easy that was too long for me to read!!! But I want you to know i did read some of it. I did a post today!!! I love you Easy your are my new Zoie!!! I miss her so!!!ââ
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I’ve read it and I was glad that you got such good news from your dogtor :o)
Wow those stamps are really nice Easy but, that driving bid I rather be a passenger.
hahaha me too, so I never have to pay for this stamp-thingies :o)
I’m sorry Easy, I lost you somewhere after “left hand on blue” . …
(Twister game reference)
hahahaha, bet my mom would end as the “gordic knot” when she plays twister :o)
That was a great driving lesson and hey if it works for your mom then it works for me. Not weird at all 😉
better don’t try it… think her driving-style is more a case for MTV-shows :o) bet Bam Margera would like it :o)
Crikey ….. how did she get her license???? Mum and Dad are going to be driving around France in a few weeks time.Sure hope they don’t run into your Momma. Tell her to look out for them. They’ll be the ones driving on the wrong side of the road.
that’s what I ask me too Charlie… probably her driving instructor closed his eyes too…
your pawrents will visit France? great! I think they will meet each other… on the wrong side of the road (that’s the next weird habit of my mom)
Like your mom I don’t buy into the whole 10 / 2 thingy but I do drive with both hands. As for stick – I tried a bunch of times and man, was it NOT pretty!
hahaha that’s what my mom thinks about automatic cars… maybe she likes the challenge to battle with a stick the whole time :o)
Now I understand why you don’t like going in the car, Easy!
hahahaha… I never was on board when mom was the pilot…but maybe it’s the smell of craziness what’s still in the car?
Your mom sure has some talent, mine couldn’t handle the car like that!
to tell the truth, Cocco, I’m not sure if she can really handle the car that way :o)
Um…if her left hand is on her right knee and her right hand is across the steering wheel switching on the blinker and her left knee is steering the elephant skater…where are her eyes? Surely, if one is that criss-crossed the eyes would be crossed too! Personally, my eyes would be CLOSED and my mouth open in a SCREAM! BOL
Oz
they are on the rearview mirror, because she has to make sure that she is really still in the car :o)… but at least her eyes are not closed lol
Ok, I agree. All weird. But how safe is all that weird driving? I have an idea; you should take over driving for her. That would be very good for everyone. 😉
–Wags (and purrs) from Life with Dogs and Cats
I would like to do that… but my legs are to short to reach the pedals… maybe the carmakers could fix that problem :o)
I am impressed by your Mom’s steering technique. I am a one hand on the steering wheel driver too.. right hand on the steering wheel, left hand stuffed under my left leg at thigh level. My left hand swells up so bad on a long trip I can’t get my wedding rings off and I have a claw for a hand for a few minutes. Thankfully i can play with the controls for the radio on the steering wheel. Your Mom’s drivin’ a stick right?
that’s a super intresting style to drive a car. you can make sure that your hand is always with you and you can’t lose it… to tell the truth… we can play with the sound on the wheel too… but my mom has no clue how it really works….
yes, my mom is a stick-driver, automatic is banned here :o)
My Mommy is pretty weird too, I bet we could go on for days talking about them.
Loveys Sasha
seems all moms are related, huh? we should have a crazy mom bloghop, that could be interesting :O)
ENGLAND two hands no weirdness allowed LOL
OMC Easy yous mommy has tu pay hers fines at da smokeshop or da bar?? Tha’s not weird, it’s just downwight cwazy. Lessen they’s twyin’ tu get yous on dwunk dwivin’ also. MOL
Luv ya’
Dezi
Your Mom wont like this but Mom L says ‘quit the smokes’…she did 33 years ago and it helped her driving lots…not to mention her breathing and my Mom L is like totally ancient!!! Amazing that anything still works properly! MOL!
She sadly is not strong enough.. althaugh she tried it 87 times… fortunately since I moved in, no one smokes in my crib :o)