weird5
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Today I join MENTAL MAMA and her 7 weeks of weird:
WEIRD HABITS
That’s NOT easy because all our habits are weird. Butt I will share a weird thingy of my Momma with you:
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My mom can’t drive with two hands,  she is far away from the “at ten minutes to two-grip” she learnt at driving school.
She always has her left hand on her right knee to help her stilt to step on the gas, that’s called “dual-speed” then…. With her right hand she picks up the steering wheel up gingerly… as it it would be a rainworm or a spider..
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The three fingers on the wheel and the hand on the knee lead sometimes  to a  letter where they celebrate her as a traffic-cowboy . Butt that kind of  fame is not for free and it costs  45 euros ( more is not possible the ride has only 84 hp)…  Oh and guess what? Even the system we have to pay that fines here is weird… You have to drive to a tobacco-store or a bar!!! (probably to celebrate the fine you’ve got) first.
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There you have to buy stamps, called “timbre amende” that means “donation stamps” amounting to the Fame Shame-diploma you’ve got.  Then the tobacco-guy sends the numbers of your stamps to the idiots who placed the radar trap on your way… …although that is declared as a “donation” you can’t write it off against the tax…what a travesty of justice! Butt anyway…Je m’en branle…. back to weird:
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It turns weird-weird when my mom has to use indicator… because  her left hand is still welded on her right knee and so she has to use her left knee to lock the steering well while she maneuvres the indicator with her right hand over the steering wheel.
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Sometimes her wrist hurts, because we have a gazillion of roundabouts in France and it’s not easy to turn your wrist like a contortionist. To smoke a cigarette while driving or to manage the sound on board of the Elephant Skate is a challenge and her pitiable passengers mostly close their eyes or send their last will via sms to their family… except my granny. She never drove a car and she only has  a class A driver license and therefore she thinks fate would have it so…
No one knows why my Momma  does that,not even herself… and I feel sorry for her driving instructor in the aftermath… BTW: I just saw the clock of the Elephant Skate today… I’m afraid we move to a state what Mr. Burns would call nuclear meltdown risk…
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HAVE A SUPER WEIRDNESDAY ALL

 

About easyweimaraner

Weimaraner /Braque de Weimar, born in 2009, male & fabulous From: Britanny / France Likes: Plushtoy-Shredding, Spikebones,long distance Walks, everyday a Gift, Chicken, Shoes, Underwear, my squeekie Pig & my whole Life Dislikes: Water, Cats, Beaf, Cats, cleaning my Ears, Cats, the Vet, Cats, Snow & CATS! Profession: Student of psychological War-technics & Terrorism, after my Masterdegree i become to rule the world or maybe to be the owner of toys r us. actually i'm not sure... Status: Single Pets: Hell, NO! i prefer a petfree home. but owner of two slaves for my comfy Misc.: Greencardowner for Masterbed, Master of Beggin, Prince of Thiefs We decided to leave Easy's datas as they were... although we lost him in november 2016, he is still with us.... and his little brothers Phenny and Nelly promised to write on not as Easy the weim, but as easy Weimaraner... About us: Mr. Phoenix, born 9/9/2016 a virgo and always clever&smart...Neilson, born 7/28/2017 a leo who thinks he is clever&smart...

121 responses »

  1. DailyMusings says:

    those are some fancy hand moves while driving. and I assuming stick shift? 😀

  2. Goose says:

    Easy I am afraid for your safety. What would happen if your mom had to adjust the volume when your dad’s rival comes on the radio and she wants to turn it up and she has to use the indicator that she is turning into her treasure store? I have an extra blind fold I could send you so you do not have to see what would about to happen. Or Or maybe you could get a bus pass and have a professional drive you about. Be safe brother and if you have to go to the bar to pay a ticket then have a few drinks before you get back in the Elephant Skate.
    Blessings,
    Goose

  3. PigLove says:

    Most interesting brother. She drives with one hand? I would most definitely pay for my ‘donations’ at a bar. I would probably have to get drunk if I thought about how much the fine was – snorts. Then again, I’m a pig. Why would I be driving in the first place, right? Then again, if daddy can’t see and he sat behind the wheel and I told him where to go – snorts – would that work? hhmm – this is an interesting thought to ponder. I must go talk to him. Great post my friend! XOXO – Bacon

    • Brother I bet that’s something like the “last meal” that you can pay your fine in a bar, so you can wash away all the trouble and the fume about that darned letter…
      I’m sure it would work if you would be his GPS (global pig system)…and he even had to manage the pedals…because our legs are to short :o(

  4. Still laughing about the traffic cowboy. I think I’m glad we were driving far across the country from your mom! 🙂

    janet

  5. Well Easy, it sounds to me like you need a blindfold AND perhaps a “relaxer” medicine in order to ride with your Mom in the Elephant Skate…..yep – that one-handed/one-kneed thing is bothersome and slightly scary. At least my Mom uses both hands MOST of the time. Maybe I should be glad I only get in the car with her once a year for the Vet-Guy???? I do like the idea of paying traffic fines in a bar though. It seems fitting…..and a lot more fun than in court like here!

    Hugs, Sammy

    • Sammy the worst thing is, that in a bar are lots of traffic-cowboys too… and if they see that you got a honorary certificate the fine will become really expensive with all the rounds you have to pay :o)

  6. fozziemum says:

    Bwahaahah Easy how talented your mum is the Euro Contortionist Driver par excellence..i fear Fozziedad has a similar affliction…driving with the knees while doing interpretative finger signs to two handed drivers..it’s a pity your mum can’t save the stamps in an album and go to meetings with other Euro Contortionist Drivers and swap the pretty ones for ugly ones…maybe Santa can bring you a safety harness woth parachute for xmas 🙂 hugs and loves Fozziemum xx

    • hahahaha, it’s important to communicate with other car drivers, like Cher once said: Love and Understanding… even with finger signs :o) I think Santa could bring me my own Taxi cab with a driver that would be the best :o)

      • fozziemum says:

        Hahaaah I agree..i often use what us Aussie call the two finger salute..it can be therapeutic..it is also known as the two beers hahaa …we should work on a blogville translate of names for these important actions so we can all use multi cultural signing hahahaah;) if you get a taxi can with driver make sure he has not hit any pawlice cars 😉

      • that salute costs more than the 45 bucks (and the rounds you have to pay for the traffic cowboys in the bar), so they mostly lift imaginary balls with a bent arm here:o)

      • fozziemum says:

        Bwahaaahah that’s amazing..i don’t think anyone here really cares about the salutes ..I do the forehead slap or the game show prize hostess one handed ‘well there you go ‘ wave….sounds like more fun In France 😉

      • of course butt sometimes they are very rude… even with words… but Christina Aguilera said: words can’t bring me down :o) so I show them where the bird has his nest and where they can kiss me and all things are good :o)

      • fozziemum says:

        bwahahaah good for you my friend 🙂 and I think all things indeed are good when have a little fun with signs and language 🙂 🙂

  7. Sadly are roads are so rutted with all the heavy trucks driving on them – we have to drive with two hands otherwise you get pulled around like a dodge-um car 🙂

    • oh that’s uncomfy to feel like riding on a horse when you have a bad street. butt at least you can’t drive too fast and you haven’t to visit a bar where all other traffic cowboys give you standing ovations when you pay your ceriticate of honour :o)

  8. Cripes, you must feel you’re joining the Whacky Races every time you go out with Mom 😀

  9. raisingdaisy says:

    HAHAHAHA!!! Hope she doesn’t feel the need to wave “hello” to anyone while driving! 😉

  10. Mental Mama says:

    I drive one-handed most of the time, but that’s because there’s usually a cigarette in the other hand.

  11. Roundabouts are enough to curve anyone into weird habits! Glad you’re there to keep an eye on things Easy!

  12. Blimey sounds more like a yoga lesson than a drive Easy. That sure is a unique way of driving. We hate roundabouts too and we have a lot of them as well. Must be a European Roundabout Mafia? Have a wonderful Wednesday.
    Best wishes Molly

    • Molly I bet there is a Mr. Roundabout who makes a lot of money with his useless merry-go-arounds … and I hate that no one of this carousel-riders knows an indicator… wait maybe they can’t use that thingy because they have their hand on the knee? like my momma?

  13. Two French Bulldogs says:

    Ok those rules are nutty
    Snorts,
    Lily & Edward

  14. kolytyi says:

    OMG, I didn’t know that Elephants are such a brave animals!

    • they have the patience of a saint… otherwise they would strangle such drivers like my momma with their trunk :o)

      • kolytyi says:

        Easy, I think I’ve solved the mystery of your mom’s strange paw choreography. It’s by no means strange but completely natural if you consider that in your mom’s brainbox, there are no cerebral hemispheres but cerebral quarters. Those poor quarters have been jumbled when your mom (like me!) jumped out of her little bed when she was a small puppy and landed on her head. Unfortunately, each limb is connected to a different cerebral quartet – thus, it is no wonder that her right back paw acts jointly with her left front paw.

      • that can be the reason… think we can blame it on her pawrents. they never let her wear a helmet in bed :O)

  15. Brian says:

    At least mom doesn’t have one hand tied behind her back Easy!

  16. harrispen says:

    Good thing you have your dad to drive you around most of the time. Those sure are some funny driving habits.

    Millie & Walter

  17. Kyla says:

    I see you drive an “Airbag”. We have that brand of vehicle also.

  18. Will and Eko says:

    It sounds like a two-creature job, mom should handle the wheel, easy should handle the signals.

    • I offered her the leg room, so she can maneuvre the pedals (my legs are too short to reach them) while I drive.
      She said NAAH! unfair, I have 4 paws for the wheel and a tail for the signals…

  19. cecilia07 says:

    OH MY STARS Easy I have never ever seen such a driving style…but it appears to work for your Mama….but I agree it is weird!!
    Hugs madi your bfff

  20. stella rose says:

    Mom says when they lived in Germany they had weird stamps for booze and cigarettes….
    stella rose

  21. delight1 says:

    Gosh, when Gail’s Dad’s driving licence was finally confiscated (aged 89, two years after his Alzheimer’s diagnosis and having had glaucoma for 20 years) we thought the roads were safe at last. Now we are not so sure….
    Toodle pip!
    Bertie.

  22. rottwlrmom says:

    Very strange driving technique! I would have to ride blindfolded!

  23. Want to hear something even MORE strange? My Mom can ONLY drive a stick shift……..YEP…that’s true. Mom CANNOT DRIVE an automatic car. ALL of Mom’s cars have been stick shifts. I think THAT is the weirdest ever! Barks and licks and love, Dakota

    • Guess what? Mom mom only drives car with a stick shift, she said she needs something in her hand (the one what not holds her knee). She had an R5 (pitiful ride, not worth to google it, trust me) with automatic once and deadlocked the engine. car guy said that’s world record (butt she got no medal, just a bill)

  24. This weird habits is going to be fun. Tell your mama to be careful driving – be sure and wear your seatbelt!

  25. Your Momma is very talented. 🙂

  26. speedyrabbit says:

    interesting way of driving Easy,my dad does the driving in our house mummy refuses to learn alway moaning there are to many idiots on the road to learn so why add another…she may have a good point!xx Speedy

  27. Frankie and Ernie says:

    HOW could she EVER pet YOU if she has both hands… thusly engaged???? AND what if a BEE flew in??? OMD Easy… this is not a good thingy… like those crazy Round Abouts/ ROTERY thingys… that are cropping up in THIS country also.

    • Fortunately I have my own driver: dad, so she has both hands to pet me :o) that roundabouts are awful, they are like the road to nowhere when they forgot to add the signs… dad drove 87 times round around till the gps girl found the right exit :o(

  28. We have some of those roundabouts right here in our town – Mom does NOT like them.
    we are very impressed with the clock on the elephant skater – is that miles or some other measure???
    hugs
    Mr Bailey, Hazel & Greta

  29. I can’t drive a stick so all these moves while shifting gears should win a medal or some timbres at least, eh?

  30. Your mom needs to get OFF THE ROAD immediately. She can drive a clown car at the circus with that technique. Yikes!

    Love and licks and “Taxi!”,
    Cupcake

    • hahahaha that Elephant Skate is a little like a clown car… we only have to paint it in a nice color… I suggest electric orange, that’s like a warning sign and all other cardrivers have the chance to disappear when they see my mom :o)

  31. Oh Easy, your Mom should be playing Twister with those moves!

  32. pawedblog says:

    Easy! Maybe you could lend a paw to mummy while she is driving? It looks like she doesn’t have enough of her own… I was dizzy even reading how she does the driving there!
    Hugs, Carrie and Pups x

  33. Emmadog says:

    She has a strange way of handling the wheel for sure. I always have my paws at 10 and 2 when I drive!

  34. The OP Pack says:

    Wow, those are some very weird but cool moves. At least we are happy to see she has one hand on the wheel – who knows what would happen if not???

    Woos – Phantom, Ciara, and Lightning

  35. I don’t like to drive, so I’m usually the passenger. When I do drive, I’m sure that I’d be someone that you’d zoom past! I’m definitely a 10 and 2 driver in the slow lane! LOL!

  36. goldenwoofs says:

    One hand only if necessary but not a fan of driving … I like to be a passenger 🙂 n give directions. Golden Woofs

  37. We’re gonna agree with you on this one Easy, it is very weird indeed. Maybe you should make sure you always wear your seat belt. Just in case you know . . .

    Your Pals,

    Murphy & Stanley

    Pee Ess – Just 2 days until the first ever Fractured Fryday Hairy Tails (see tab on our bloggy for details).

  38. fernerose says:

    So sorry Easy that was too long for me to read!!! But I want you to know i did read some of it. I did a post today!!! I love you Easy your are my new Zoie!!! I miss her so!!!​​

    ​

  39. lilyanna1 says:

    Wow those stamps are really nice Easy but, that driving bid I rather be a passenger.

  40. Midwestern Plant Girl says:

    I’m sorry Easy, I lost you somewhere after “left hand on blue” . …
    (Twister game reference)

  41. That was a great driving lesson and hey if it works for your mom then it works for me. Not weird at all 😉

  42. Anonymous says:

    Crikey ….. how did she get her license???? Mum and Dad are going to be driving around France in a few weeks time.Sure hope they don’t run into your Momma. Tell her to look out for them. They’ll be the ones driving on the wrong side of the road.

    • that’s what I ask me too Charlie… probably her driving instructor closed his eyes too…

      your pawrents will visit France? great! I think they will meet each other… on the wrong side of the road (that’s the next weird habit of my mom)

  43. Like your mom I don’t buy into the whole 10 / 2 thingy but I do drive with both hands. As for stick – I tried a bunch of times and man, was it NOT pretty!

  44. Clowie says:

    Now I understand why you don’t like going in the car, Easy!

  45. katiebblogs says:

    Your mom sure has some talent, mine couldn’t handle the car like that!

  46. Um…if her left hand is on her right knee and her right hand is across the steering wheel switching on the blinker and her left knee is steering the elephant skater…where are her eyes? Surely, if one is that criss-crossed the eyes would be crossed too! Personally, my eyes would be CLOSED and my mouth open in a SCREAM! BOL
    Oz

  47. Ok, I agree. All weird. But how safe is all that weird driving? I have an idea; you should take over driving for her. That would be very good for everyone. 😉

    –Wags (and purrs) from Life with Dogs and Cats

  48. I am impressed by your Mom’s steering technique. I am a one hand on the steering wheel driver too.. right hand on the steering wheel, left hand stuffed under my left leg at thigh level. My left hand swells up so bad on a long trip I can’t get my wedding rings off and I have a claw for a hand for a few minutes. Thankfully i can play with the controls for the radio on the steering wheel. Your Mom’s drivin’ a stick right?

    • that’s a super intresting style to drive a car. you can make sure that your hand is always with you and you can’t lose it… to tell the truth… we can play with the sound on the wheel too… but my mom has no clue how it really works….
      yes, my mom is a stick-driver, automatic is banned here :o)

  49. Sasha says:

    My Mommy is pretty weird too, I bet we could go on for days talking about them.

    Loveys Sasha

  50. ENGLAND two hands no weirdness allowed LOL

  51. dezizworld says:

    OMC Easy yous mommy has tu pay hers fines at da smokeshop or da bar?? Tha’s not weird, it’s just downwight cwazy. Lessen they’s twyin’ tu get yous on dwunk dwivin’ also. MOL

    Luv ya’

    Dezi

  52. Your Mom wont like this but Mom L says ‘quit the smokes’…she did 33 years ago and it helped her driving lots…not to mention her breathing and my Mom L is like totally ancient!!! Amazing that anything still works properly! MOL!

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