As I was near to dead from starving a parcel came over the channel. It came from King Henry and his Moggie-oyal household
The King spoke: Let them eat cake, when they have no bread… na, he didn’t because he isn’t a copy-cat…. so, he spoke: Let him eat SCONES when he has no kibble.
And so I found an OGGY baking mix in the parcel and a  hangman’s noose to exact vengeance rope toy.

I decided to celebrate an AFTERNOON TEA in proper british style. I have some experience  how to celebrate an Afternoon Tea, because I was born directly on the border to the United Kingdom and when I looked over the channel I saw the people of Cornwall. Therefore we will celebrate the CORNISH STYLE, that’s called CORNISH CREAM TEA. We planned an afternoon tea in my back yard, butt the cold wind would blow away the cucumbers from the sandwiches, so we changed the location…
First you have to consider the dress code:

British gentlemen are wellknown for their unobtrusive elegance, so I think, this one will make it.

Then I had to ponder about the Clotted Cream what’s a must for a cornish afternoon tea. At this point many thanks to the Moggies, Fozziemum and Molly the Wally. Molly, my dad is happy that he will be spared from the Pimm’s Cup N°1, he made a bad experience once :o)

We decided to replace the clotted cream with Mascarpone, that’s not the same, butt it has nearly the same calories: 87k per tea spoon :o)
First we prepared my scones…  you have a screw loose, Mom, we only use the half package, my arse!
Then we prepared the biped scones…. what there is  dirt from my paws in the bowl, it’s just for you, so put a sock on it…
While we burnt the scones in the oven, we prepared the cucumber sandwiches. They are a must, Molly said, that’s LAW no afternoon tea without cucumber sandwiches. It’s important to remove the crust, otherwise you are an OIK, said google.
Now we normally would need a whatnot with 3 shelves, where we place the sandwiches on the bottom, the scones in the middle and some sweet things on the top. We have just a whatnot with one shelf, so we have to wing that.
If the scones are black and it smells like a knackery are light-golden-brown you can remove it, but cover your paws with asbest gloves before.
If the scones are cooled down you can cut them in the middle, smear some of that Mascarpone on it and throw a splash of strawberry jam on the top. We only have a diet-jam what makes us running, so we placed some strawberries on the Mascarpone, that’s ok, too.
Now to the sweet things, we picked Macarons, they are easy-peasy to make: open your freezer and let it thaw…

The drinkables are easy to prepare, you need only a good Assam-Tea what you can spice up with cream or lemon juice and brown rock sugar or stevia… I will get my own drink, I only drink tea when I have headaches in my stomachs…

That shouldn’t happen, butt it wasn’t me….yes, it landed on your paw, Mom, I know, butt from chipping come chips.
Ha! wait… we forgot the most important thing for an afternoon tea: BOOZE! The proper style is to make a Pimm’s N° 1 cup, but we haven’t Pimm’s in our stores and there is nothing on the whole slice earth to replace it.  Molly said, it’s allowed to get plastered with Champagne too. So we placed  a bottle in the freezer what the staff will pump in their stomachs later. That’s being said, never mix Champagne with any additives, no Cassis, no Hugo, no Aperol. Because there is a ghost in every bottle, who comes loose when you open it. You can smell it when you open a bottle, it smells like the  dry heat in the Champagne where the grapes become ripe in the sun and like the barrels where the grape juice waits till he becomes wine and like the feet of the people who trampled down the grapes in a bucket… And when you mess up this artwork of nature and chemical reactions, the ghost will slap you with his hammer on your head by night. You will have a thick head the next day and that’s the reason they call it “to get hammered”… just saying.

So now lets throw the foodables on the whatnot, behead the bottle and prepare the tea… I’m hungry…

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Many thanks again to the King& his royal furmily , Molly and Fozziemom! Cheers! Sláinte! Skol! Bottoms up! There is mud in your eye!… ah no wait there its mud on your sandwich…probably from my feet…

So, now what? Have I passed the British Citizenship test? Can I get my brandnew UK-passport on monday?



About easyweimaraner

Weimaraner /Braque de Weimar, born in 2009, male & fabulous From: Britanny / France Likes: Plushtoy-Shredding, Spikebones,long distance Walks, everyday a Gift, Chicken, Shoes, Underwear, my squeekie Pig & my whole Life Dislikes: Water, Cats, Beaf, Cats, cleaning my Ears, Cats, the Vet, Cats, Snow & CATS! Profession: Student of psychological War-technics & Terrorism, after my Masterdegree i become to rule the world or maybe to be the owner of toys r us. actually i'm not sure... Status: Single Pets: Hell, NO! i prefer a petfree home. but owner of two slaves for my comfy Misc.: Greencardowner for Masterbed, Master of Beggin, Prince of Thiefs We decided to leave Easy's datas as they were... although we lost him in november 2016, he is still with us.... and his little brothers Phenny and Nelly promised to write on not as Easy the weim, but as easy Weimaraner... About us: Mr. Phoenix, born 9/9/2016 a virgo and always clever&smart...Neilson, born 7/28/2017 a leo who thinks he is clever&smart...

109 responses »

  1. That looks like a grand Tea! The Biks look delish, and the human food doesn’t look bad either. Hope you guys had a great time, and no-one got poisoned (sorry Easy-Mom).

  2. Mental Mama says:

    Looks like an awesome party! We just made blackberry muffins, which are not as good as scones, but totally count as baking. 😉

  3. Brian says:

    You sure know how to throw a tea pawty Easy!

  4. That bow tie is the best yet! So, after blowing all your diets, back to mud sandwhiches?

  5. What a fantastic tea party. I love it. Gman wishes he was chowing down on all the goods vs running a test…ok more like mom was wishing she could chow down maybe she will drown her sorrows in your booze or maybe she should be optimistic and drink a cheer after his pass??? You do everything with such style. I came across the pond once a few years ago and ate cucumber sandwiches which were Delish. Have a great sat.

    • it’s sadly not possible to drown the sorrows, that guys can swim like fishies :o) I know you will have a reason to celebrate after Gamblers pass :o) maybe with some bubble water too? the cucumber sandwiches were great, either it was because we skipped our lunch or they are really good :o)

  6. cecilia07 says:

    Oh my dogs Easy
    Here I sit w mom watching my weight and no one watching hers. Save me a scone SIME Assam and keep a light on I will be there on the next red eye.
    Sincerely Madi(son) the Royal Diva cat

  7. Goose says:

    So very happy you got to get some foodables to quiet your noisy stomach. And the UK would be a fool to not let you be apart of them. As for me dear brother I am afraid I am very very very ill. In an hour I will be in the hospital. MOM does not know what is wrong but I have never seen her so worried and I got to tell you I don’t think I have ever felt so bad. Maybe some scones would help me, except I do not want to eat ANYTHING. Keep me in your thoughts and prayers brother.

    • Oh no brother! I hope the vet will find the reason and he will help you. You are in my thoughts, of course and I will cross my paws as hard as I can. Please get well soon brother, I will bake you a truckload of scones with my own paws when it helps you to feel better.

  8. Very envious of the bow tie – perfectly unobtrusive and extremely stylish 🙂

  9. What a party, E. Your family sure knows how to blow it out!

    Love and licks,

  10. Bravo Easy that was a magnificent spread. No worries pop over after you finished for a passport, free housing, benefits galore and dad can have incapacity benefit too to cover him for any further accidents. It is all free to all but those who live here LOL. Now we are off to find something to eat as it made us damn hungry. Enjoy my friend. Have a super Saturday.
    Best wishes Molly

    • Oh Molly, I can’t wait to get my big house and a fat car, just with the steering wheel on the wrong side and all that good stuff for free :o)
      Imagine then we are neighbors, that would be cool! oh and you are invited everyday for tea!

  11. fozziemum says:

    Outstanding tea Easy 🙂 and with the scones and Strawberries you can hit Wimbledon maybe 🙂 just take the macarons from the freezer…wish I knew that before the great macaron trials of 2013…tricky little toads to make….grrrr…and yum I love cucumber sandwiches or as we crassly call them down under cucumber sangas..Rule Britannia Easy and glad the marscapone was a good substitute 🙂 hugs and loves Fozziemum xxxx Pee Ess we send your friend Goose all our love and hope the problem is an easily resolved one xxxx

    • Macarons are our fate. I nailed it whenever I tried to make them, so I better buy them in store :o) The Mascarpone is made in hell, I’m sure the small bucket has 1100 calories… bye ole jeans :o)

      • fozziemum says:

        Hahaahahahh I was on a macaron mission until I got it right….can’t bear the thought that a few eggwhite a bit if sugar and some flour would be my undoing !! I do a great soufflé but these things really tested my patience bwahaahaah and yes the mascarpone is a real dieter’s nightmare..but whn looking for a substitute or Clotted cream it was the stand in dude 😉 went jean shopping today…..like stabbing myself in the eye with a hot poker.arghhhh..

      • oh jean shopping is a torture. I buy them only online, I haven’t found a fitting room by now where I can put them on lying :o) and they probably would not be happy when I try to close the zipper with a pliers hahaha

      • fozziemum says:

        Hahahaahah I hate those change rooms…they smell like desperation hope and ultimate humilitation…speaking of which that crazy Sylvester Stallone is on late night tv here in Daylight…..I say drown already..hahahhaahah 🙂

  12. speedyrabbit says:

    Hehehe looks very yummy Easy,Mum said if you can’t get clotted cream,Mum said get double cream also known as heavy cream and whipp it up till it gets thick,and that is as close to clotted cream you can get,xx Speedy

  13. Emmadog says:

    Reminds me of my first 9 weeks of life in the UK. Wonder if my dog parents still have such scone and tea parties???

    • I bet they have… or they are on a diet lol But I like afternoon tea it’s great to spend the time till supper. Next time we will pick a “teatime light” otherwise mom’s ole jean will be history for ever :O)

  14. Easy that was one beautiful true-Brit tea!! Scones with fresh strawberries and mascarpone….Mom said that they looked “nommy” (cat talk for delish)…..and I think your favorite snack was tearing that rope toy to bits (did you put mascarpone on that or did you just eat it au natural???). Nice that you had a tie to go with the whole thing. You all truly did tea time like nobody else could!

    Hugs, Sammy

    • thanks :o) I ate the rope raw, I’ve heard that’s healthy :o)
      The scones were stones, but the mascarpone and the strawberries were really tasty. Bet now mom needs a crane to come in her ole jean :o)

      • HA! Your Dad sure tried to HELP her get into those jeans…gotta give him credit for that – my Dad would have thrown his back out trying to do that with MY Mom even WITH a crane….HAHAHA

        Hugs, sammy

  15. Kuruk says:

    What a pawesome tea pawty! Wooooooowooooooooo!

  16. Kyla says:

    Might that be King Henry IX? There you go again, using French Champagne. My peeps say the imported stuff is better. Ditch the French swill and get the best Norwegian champagne money can buy.

  17. fernerose says:

    Being on a diet sucks!!! You are doing good with yours Easy!!

  18. What a fun time you had with the pawrents. Those are some mighty fine scones for woofies

  19. WOW… my head is spliting. I learned soooooo much from you today.

  20. we would call that ‘high’ tea for sure – very elegant !

  21. It sounds like a jolly good tea time Easy with lots of yummy treats!

  22. merbear74 says:

    I really love this blog. ❤ :o)

  23. Great job Easy. The bow tie was a nice touch. Now as for scones, my predecessor Hamish the Westie had form on that particular foodstuff. See: http://bouncingbertie.blogspot.co.uk/2012/09/a-re-enactment-of-hamishs-finest-hour.html
    Toodle pip!

  24. dezizworld says:

    MOL Dat’s Pawsum Easy. So glad yous got sum fun fings. 🙂 And what a tea. Meez had no idea what all went intu havin’ a little old cup o tea. Enjoy!!!

    Luv and Hugs and Kitty Kisses ♥♥♥


  25. Two French Bulldogs says:

    Thank goodness for the parcel! You would have withered away to nothing
    Lily & Edward

  26. Oh, this looks delish! I like how you snuck in the French macarons and champagne ;-0 And I learned something new about ghosts in the bottle!

  27. pawedblog says:

    Oh what fun Easy! Thanks for teaching me the origins of ‘getting hammered’ too… one never knew!
    After reading your story, I am pleased to say that by my standards you are a much better UK citizen than I could ever dream of being (and I AM one!)… I will recommend your passport to arrive forthwith!
    Hugs, Carrie and Pups x

  28. Easy that is one of the finest British teas I have seen! Ohhh Mom wants some macarons and your pastry looked delightful, even with mud! xoxo

  29. Wow, what a great tea!! I raise my cup to you and your wonderful parents. 🙂 Wish you were going to be near Dijon in July so we could meet. So close but yet so far. 😦


  30. Finley Rose says:

    Looks so yummy!! Now I’s hungry!!!

  31. I think your tea time looks great Easy! “Fancy” people in the US like to have mimosas at brunch which is orange juice mixed with champagne. I like them – they are very tasty!

  32. hello easy its dennis the vizsla dog hay wow homemayde scones!!! dada never mayks me scones!!! he and i ar going to hav to hav wurds i think!!! ok bye

  33. dogdaz says:

    Wow what a great tea. You definitely seem British to us. – DogDaz

  34. Whitley says:

    Looks tasty! Dat Pimms are pretty yummy – we can get it here!!

  35. The OP Pack says:

    Pawesome teatime, Easy!!! A mot delectable plate you have there. Those scones and berries look so delish!!! Enjoy.

    Woos – Phantom, Ciara, and Lightning

  36. DailyMusings says:

    what a fabulous looking tea party- everything looks so delish!

  37. Run A Muck Ranch says:

    You get to shred the coolest toys Easy!

  38. spittythekitty says:

    Woohoo–that looks like the best tea ever! You shoulda invited the Queen, or at least Kate and Will and the Little Prince to join you–I’m sure they woulda been honored, Easy!

  39. You are officially British to us three moggies 😉 so happy you went all out with the tea. Humans are off to Oxford today and having champagne afternoon tea so will show you pictures tomorrow on our post and refer to yours xxx happy tea day

  40. kolytyi says:

    OMG, I has become so hungry after seeing those pics that I cannot use my brain-like device in my head and cannot decide whether the envelope is an appetizer or a dessert?

  41. Misaki says:

    Forget the Ritz, Easy your afternoon tea looks amazing!

  42. teacup25 says:

    Wow, what fun you had preparing for TeaTime. We had a good MOL at the antics that went on. An enjoyable piece.

    Canadian Cats

  43. Oh MY!!!! The scones look awesome! Such a perfect TEA Easy!!!

  44. Nylabluesmum says:

    Apawz Apawz Easy me Champeeon n yer Pawentz fer da ‘slap-up’ afternnon tee dey made fer ya!!! Yer pawentz are so clever n werk do hard….nott like me lazy A**ey Mum what throwz treetz down on me placemat n givez me NO Cham-pain…
    Mum sayz me wuud nott like it butt how wuud she nose day?? 😉
    Alas wif me bowelz maybee it wuud bee a bad fing 😉
    Dem sconez looked guud tho’…
    Ah come on Mum just a wee nibble fer me pleeze??
    Lub Nylablue ❤ n Mum too ❤

  45. Clowie says:

    That tea looks amazing, especially the scones! I love your tie, Easy!

  46. 2browndawgs says:

    Wow that is a proper tea time! Looks delish!

  47. Mags Corner says:

    That looked like a superlicous tea sweet Easy. We are sure happy that parcel arrived before you skipped out on us…life would not be the same without you sweet buddy! Hugs and nose kisses

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