Once my mom had a friend. Her name was Dory and you will guess it, she was a crazy girl. Once in the early 90s Dory met a guy named Costas.
He came from Greece and was only there for a week to visit his uncle. Dory was in love immediately and Costas really promised her the stars, the sun and the allmighty kingdom and much more what no one understood, because neither mom or Dory spoke greece. Then he went back to his greek island.
Well, living in the early 90s was not easy. Cell phones were rare, and if you had one they were as big as a fridge and even a short call was nearly ruinous. And they had NO internet! Really! Long distance calls were pricey and if you were always on the rocks like mom and Dory, a relationship a’la Sleepless in Seattle was just impossible.
So Dory and Costas wrote love letters. Very old school, with a pen and a paper sheet and many hearts (because of the language barrier) and …. a lot of lies.
After some months while Dory was on cloud #7 and Costas in Greece, she got a telegram. For younger peeps and pets: that was something like an e-mail but different, you know? something like that:
The telegram came from Costas’ buddy and it said that Costas had an accident and has to stay in a hospital.
Now Dory’s heart beated like a jungle drum and she was in worry for beloved Costas. To be on his side while he has to fight for his life was her greatest wish. Sadly Dory had 3 problems:
– no car
– no driver licence
– no bucks
So she howled her woes in my moms ears, till my mom said Hell! yes!, because mom had no 3 problems, just one: no bucks.
Both started the same night with the last money, a baguette, a overdated piece of cheese and a water bottle. Butt wait I forgot the leading light: the ride. Like I said my mom was poor and for small money you can buy only a small car: a FIAT PANDA, named POP (btw: we still have the mouse what hangs on the mirror)
I have no clue if a ride with 34bhp/652cc counts for a car in the U.S. or if it runs under walking aid or lawn mower?
Butt anyway, Dory, mom, the ole cheese and the baguette and the water bottle hopped in the panda, the Panda shout out with all his pitiful 34hp
like a burping cat and they started to Greece.
Time( one way)
42h16 with 20h32 on motorways
Distance (one way)
2328 km with 2046 km on motorways
The Panda has seats like cheap camping chairs and the “aircondition” only had two options: window up or down (via window crank, of course).
After and endless journey on the road to hell ( the 39 hours are wishful thinking, in the 90s they had NO GPS and used road maps) the landed at Costas island. As an highlight they had to drive through Italy, because they couldn’t use the road through former Yugoslavia, because of the war. Butt no war, no Panda and no ole cheese could stop Dory and her love to Costas. They only made short pee-breaks to fill the tank and the waterbottle ( both had nearly the same capacity) and for some short naps for my mom.
They really reached Greece and they really found the address of Costas, knocked on the door and guess who opened? No, not Costas… he really was in hospital… it was…
Seems they came to late for the BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING, because the groom was always taken…
What a frigging liar! The Trojan Horse on two legs! They should name him PEE-NOCCHIO… butt wait, we are in Greece, so PEE-NOCCHIOS sounds better. To say mom and Dory felt uncomfy wouldn’t describe their situation, they felt like stranded in hell. After a night on that devils island they entered the Panda and drove home with dropped tails….
The whole way back Dory sang the ” I hate him, but I love him so” -song, while my mom maneuvered her rolling shoe box through europe. After a three day ride with heat, dirt and rumbling tummies (NO BUCKS!) they were back. Dory, Mom and the Panda named POP. Without the baguette, the cheese and the waterbottle… without fleas in their head about a BIG FAT GREEK WEDDING butt with their butt back on the ground of reality.
Once MEAT LOAF sang “I would do anything for love”. Really? I have some doubts if ANYTHING includes a 1446 miles ride in a rolling shoe box and I have some doubts if Meat Loaf would be strong enough for such a ride in a Panda….. or vice versa… if the Panda would be strong enough for Meat Loaf…
Butt my mom did it. Against all odds and against every reason. For Dory. For the understanding among nations. For the cheese. And for the friendship. And they never heard from Pee-nocchios (good!).
The random walk of Odysseus lasted 10 years, mom’s journey only a week. Odysseus had 12 ships, mom just ONE Panda. Either a Panda isn’t as bad as we think or Odysseus was a more worse driver than my mom. I’m more for “either”… just saying…..
HAVE A FABULOUS THURSDAY ALL